Tag Archives: spam

Love Letters

We’ve all had those days when every piece of mail or email you open is a bill or reminds you that people are nothing if relentlessly tedious.

When those things happen, I know there’s always one place I can go to feel loved, to feel respected and cherished by those who might stop by my blog—the SPAM folder.

Or, as I prefer to call it, my Love Letter Vault.


Sure, “HotSkillz97”  might not feel comfortable enough to comment using his real name, but I figure it’s more of a shyness issue and rather endearing, no?

Anyway, who couldn’t be happy when they open that folder and read a few comments like these (despite the cringe-worthy errors, printed as sent to maintain authenticity):

  • You’ve encouraged, Doug. Appreciative for the type words and phrases.
  • Fascinating publish. Thank you for making my day.
  • I have not a clue precisely what your existing about and I don’t agree with you at all. However hello! Anyway I am sincere! (It should be noted that this was left on my “About” post, of which they disagree.)
  • Really get pleasure from exposing it. It looks a lot like your present audience will far more than probably like much a lot more excellent articles.
  • Your jot down can be a superb kind of that.
  • Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too fantastic. You make entertainment and you still take care of to keep it smart.
  • You are my aspiration. I have few blogs and very sporadically run out from to brand.
  • Terrific paintings! This is the kind of info that are supposed to be shared around the web. Shame on Google for not positioning this submit upper! Come on over and seek advice from my vacuum! (I have to admit. This is a tempting offer.)
  • Fascinating goods, my lord! Within the outstanding words and phrases of a specific terminator…Illinois be back!

I can only imagine that some of these comments are left by the people who found my blog by searching with one of these terms:

  • Jack LaLanne’s crotch
  • How to tell my mom I need a bra (never had this problem…sigh)
  • Do squirrels use febreze in their trees
  • Avocados and parrot porn
  • Why do some senior citizens feel the need to be naked
  • Michael Phelps wearing plastic panties and a banana clip
  • Melissa Rivers looks like Steven Tyler (spot-on, by the way)
  • Can you get food poisoning from old ketchup packets (my grandma would say “no”)
  • Woman insists husband go commando
  • Picture of raccoon with a pair of panties
  • I’m not anti-social, I’m anti-stupid
  • Squirrel drag queens are handy things to have in your car

And finally, “Soon, my friend, it’s cocktail hour.” Yes, yes it is. I’m thinking that we should ask Doug from above. Maybe he’ll be encouraged to pick up the tab?

At any rate, within the outstanding words and phrases of a specific terminator…Illinois be back!

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