Tag Archives: songs

Snackin’ Around the Christmas Tree

It’s been a while since I’ve serenaded vegan food in song or questionable rhymes, so I figured a seasonal selection of holiday hymns were in order. So fa-la-la and bon appetite!

songs

Oh Broccoli Tree

(Sung to O Christmas Tree)

Oh broccoli tree, Oh broccoli tree,

I steam you every dinner.

Oh broccoli tree, Oh broccoli tree,

To me you are a winner.

Not only green when summer’s here,

But also when it’s cold and drear.

Oh broccoli tree, Oh broccoli tree,

To me you are a winner.

Oh broccoli tree, Oh broccoli tree,

Such flavor do you bring me!

Oh broccoli tree, Oh broccoli tree,

Such pleasure do you bring me!

Each fresh floret,

Each diced up crown.

Completes a meal I want to down.

Oh broccoli tree, Oh broccoli tree,

To me you are a winner.

Pizza Pie Rocks

(Sung to “Jingle Bell Rock”)

Pizza pie, pizza pie, pizza pie rocks.

Pizza with cheese or the toppings you please.

Turn on the oven to preheat the fun,

Now the pizza love has begun.

Pizza pie, pizza pie, pizza pie rocks.

Pizza’s sublime at just any time.

Cooking and smelling the oregano there,

Wafting through the air.

What a bright time, it’s the right time,

To snack the night away.

Pizza pie time is a swell time,

To go eating and improve on your day.

Hurry-up, oven, come and pick up the pace.

I want to stuff my face.

Put on yoga pants and kick up my feet.Because pizza pie,

Because pizza pie,

Because pizza pie rocks.

Hummus Night

(Sung to “Silent Night”)

Hummus last night, hummus tonight.

You’re so smooth, and so light.

Round yon chickpeas and tahini paste,

Add some garlic for that perfect taste.

Eat it any way you please.

Eat it any way you please.

Hummus last night, hummus tonight.

Any time, is pure delight.

Eaten in salad or slathered on grains,

Pita or crackers or just spooned up plain.

Hummus, you do no wrong.

Hummus, you do no wrong.

Hummus last night, hummus tonight.

Taste buds quake, at the sight.

Glories stream from X above

Those who eat it know it tastes like love.

A snacking savior is born.

A snacking savoir is born.

Have Yourself a Perfect Avocado

(Sung to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”)

Have yourself a perfect avocado,

That is ripe and right.

Not too dark,

but also not too hard and light.

Have yourself a perfect avocado,

Make a wrap or dips,

Smashed on bread,

or served along with healthy chips.

Here we are in the grocery store,

Choosing our new fruit and more.

Faithful foods that are dear to us

Will come home with us once more.

Through the years our tastes may change a little,

But I must avow.

An avocado is a food I’ll keep somehow.

So have yourself a perfect avocado now.

Snackin’ Around the Christmas Tree

(Sung to “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”)

Snackin’ around the Christmas tree

At the Christmas party hop,

Tables of food that you can see,

And at which you have to stop.

Snackin’ around the Christmas tree,

Let the Christmas “spirits” ring,

We’ll have a glass of red and white,

And screw the caroling.

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear,

Voices singing, “Let’s be merry!”

Look! There’s bread and cake with berries.

Snackin’ around the Christmas tree,

Have a happy holiday.

Everyone eating merrily,

In the true food lovers way!

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Kanye West: “Weed Digger”

It’s been awhile since I’ve serenaded you with veggie verses, so it’s my pleasure to present to you my take on Kanye West’s Golddigger,” with a gardening spin.

 Weed Digger”

weeddigger

She gives me veggies, when I’m in need

Yeah she’s a gardening friend indeed

Oh she’s a weed digger, way over town

That digs on me.

Chorus:

(She gives me veggies.)

Now I ain’t sayin’ she a weed digger (when I’m in need)

But all these plants are getting bigger, bigger.

(She gives me veggies)

Now I ain’t sayin’ she a weed digger (when I’m in need)

But all these plants are getting bigger, bigger.

Get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)

Get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)

Get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)

Get down girl gone head

18 plants, 18 plants

She got one of every kind, about 18 plants

I know somebody putting stakes up for all of those beans,

Her green thumb mamma helps secure it so that it never leans.

You will see her there outside on any given day

Digging up the dandelions out from the clay.

She was supposed to buy some new clothes with some of her money

But went down to the greenhouse and got seeds with that money

Now she keeping her plants safe from that meddling bunny,

So that it doesn’t eat the greens she bought with all of her money.

If you ain’t no punk, holla “We want turnips!

WE WANT TURNIPS!” Yeah.

It’s something that you need to know

‘Cause what you’ll see when you go to her home.

18 plants, 18 plants

And in her flowers you can find a happy little gnome.

Chorus:

Now I ain’t saying she’s a weed digger (she got needs)

She don’t want her yard to suck, so she pulls those weeds

Her OCD compels her every day to rake up the leaves,

There’s green beans in the back, so she rolls up her sleeves

She got that ambition, baby, look in her eyes

This week she’s picking peppers you would normally buy.

So, stick by her side

I know this girl is crazy, but the garden is nice

And she gonna keep weeding and trying

But you stay right there

‘Cause when you need some good tomatoes she is willing to share.

Get down girl go head get down

Get down girl go head get down

Get down girl go head get down

Get down girl go head

(lemme hear that back)

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The Age of Asparagus

As you may know—and one look at my blog header in which I am “smoking” asparagus will tell you—my love of asparagus runs deep. So deep in fact that I eat it every day and have created a song for this stalk.

aoasp

 (To be sung to the tune of “Age of Aquarius”)

When I bring the groceries in my house,

And start to make my food.

Those stalks will guide the meals I eat,

And that taste will lift my mood.

This is the dawning of the age of Asparagus!

The age of Asparagus!

Asparagus!

Asparagus!

Roasting it or often steaming,

Fresh flavors and taste give life meaning.

Don’t care if urine is sulfuric,

This green stalk makes me euphoric,

Eaten raw—a revelation,

And the taste’s true liberation.

Asparagus!

Asparagus!!

When the moon is in the Seventh House,

And Jupiter aligns with Mars.

Then peace will guide the planets,

And love will steer the stars.

This is the dawning of the age of Asparagus!

The age of Asparagus!

Asparagus!

Asparagus!

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Desperado for Avocado

Ladies and gentlemen, “Veginem” will be back with an Ode to Asparagus in a couple of posts. But today we are going to honor the amazing avocado with a song I ask be sung to the “Eagles” tune “Desperado”).

Avocado, why don’t you come to your ripeness?
You’ve been out on my counter for so long now.

Oh, you’re a hard one,
I know that you got your reasons
But this isn’t pleasin’ me,
So get ripe right now.

Don’t you want to be enjoyed by me?
I’ll eat you if I’m able,
I know the sandwich route is always my best bet.

avosandwich1_thumb.jpg

Now it seems to me, some other things
Have been laid upon my table
But I only want the ones that I can’t get.

Avocado, oh, I ain’t gettin’ no younger.
My pain and my hunger, they’re drivin’ me mad.
And freedom, oh freedom well, that’s just some people talkin’
Your purpose is being part of the food that I had.

Don’t you want to be used at my dinner time?
I’ll smash you up and make your flavors shine.
It’s hard to do when you aren’t ripe today.

I’m feeling all the hunger pangs.
And this feeling, it won’t ever go away.

Avocado, why don’t you come to your senses?
Come down from my counter, get on my plate.

It may be scary, when there’s a knife poised above you,
But you better let somebody eat you, before it’s too late.

Side note: If you do want to hurry along the “ripening” process, you can stick an avocado in a brown paper bag. I can vouch for that one.

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