Tag Archives: new year

Let’s Set Lofty Goals!

The New Year is quickly approaching, which means we’ll soon be subjected to hearing about everyone’s lofty goals for the upcoming year.

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, mostly because I figure I don’t need to wait until January 1 to try and change whatever it is that needs changing—unless it’s the furnace filter, in which I stick to a stringent “every three months” schedule.

But in the spirit of self-improvement and goal-setting, I have decided to share a few of my more “reasonable” resolutions for the upcoming year with you guys. Of course, this is excluding the biggest most stressful goal—finding a job—but I can multi-task here (quickly adds that one to her resume.)

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Throw a plastic bottle into the recycling bag without it bouncing back up and out of the bin and onto the floor.  

Rip bananas off the bunch at the store without feeling like I’m ripping them away from their little banana family, and then returning home without having bruised the bananas.

Take off  my winter boots without also taking off my socks, and if accomplished, step out of my winter boots without stepping directly into a piece of snow that fell on the floor.

Catch the pasta in between al dente and overcooked, which is approximately .84 seconds.

Not only remember to take my reusable grocery bags to the store, but also remember to actually take them into the store before I’m standing in line.

After brushing off my snowy car, open the car door without snow still falling in on the seat somehow.

Put the laundry away the same day that it’s actually washed and dried.

Successfully switch from one phone call to the one on call waiting without hanging up on either of the calls.

Find the right lid to a Tupperware container in less than three attempts.

Alphabetize something without needing to sing the alphabet song in order to actually alphabetize something.

Catch something as it falls off the table without knocking something else off the table.

Open a plastic produce bag in under 10 seconds at the store.

Pump gas and stop on the exact dollar amount instead of spending an extra $10 trying to get it to stop on an even dollar amount.

Try to find the good in every situation. Wait, that was a typo. I meant “food.” Try to find the food in every situation.


I think that last one is most certainly one I can accomplish (said as she walks by the laundry basket full of clean clothes for the third time today.)

Your turn. What’s one “reasonable” goal for 2015, other than not reading about anyone’s goals for 2015? 

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A Retrospective Ramble

I realize that there are about four people on the Internet this week and even fewer people reading blogs, but I’m posting this week anyway.

I liken it to singing alone in the car in that I do it because I want to and not for an audience other than the car that pulls up next to me and sees me busting out Eminem like only a skinny Polish girl in an Equinox can do.

Anyway, I figured I would do one more holiday-centric post before getting back to “normal” posts.

I’m not one for “Year in Review” recaps, as mine would most likely just be a list of things I ate and several self-inflicted injuries with basic household objects. Granted there have been good things and bad I could reflect upon while gazing at my navel, but nobody cares about that.

Instead I was thinking it might be kind of fun to look back at what post got the most comments each month this past year and do a “Top 12 in 2012” post.

As you can see, that would have been a great idea if the year had been 2012. Needless to say, 2014 will not be the year that I attend my first Mensa meeting. It was a solid concept though, so I’m going with it anyway.

Below you will find the post that got the most comments each month (minus giveaway posts.) Some surprised me in that the more “serious” ones get more love, but then again, you people are frugal with feedback and I  have no idea what you like.

However, I forgive you because small random acts of kindness make me feel like a better person.

So even though they’re not my “best” posts or even close to my favorites, here are the ones with the most comments:

And just for craps and cackles, here are some of the top search terms that led people to my blog in just this past month:

  • Apparently the only thing I’m good at is getting totes confused
  • Crazy naked squirrels wearing thongs
  • Ho ho ho seriously she works that mistletoe like a pro
  • One-piece pajamas for women who don’t have big boobs
  • Pictures of elderly people in wheelchairs having a sock hop at nursing facility
  • Melissa Rivers looks like Steven Tyler
  • Do you like my gnome babushka?
  • Nail salon waxed off all of my eyebrows
  • Why do old people wear banana clips
  • Your lizard looks a little limp
  • I put the word bitch in my GPS and ended up in your driveway

And I’m the one who has issues?

At any rate, I thank you for reading my rambles and invite you to subscribe and continue to join me for the next 365 days—or until I run out of things to say, which could be much sooner than that or an excruciatingly longer period of time more than that.

It’s really anyone’s guess.

But upcoming posts include my Olympic dreams, a vacuum and an inconvenient truth–not all at the same time.

Here’s to 2014.

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