Tag Archives: if you think I’m serious you have issues

How I Got Thin

Diets annoy me.

More specifically, people that talk about diets all the time annoy me. But in case you didn’t know it, I’m thin—not necessarily by choice, mind you—so I often get weird requests for “how I do it.”

I’ve found no one wants to hear that it takes a commitment to your health to actually be healthy. You know, eat more veggies, take a walk, blah blah blah. I suppose it’s hard for them to know what to think,  as there are a million conflicting “reports” out there on the next best shortcut to health.

Diet Soda Cartoon

But still—common sense people.

Personally, I’m a vegetarian that eats dairy, eggs and occasionally fish when I have to. I don’t eat soy or drink coffee because it sends me into intestinal hell—it’s not pretty. Even though I do have a love for animals and compassion is a part of my decision, I mostly eat what makes me feel good—physically and mentally.

But then I started reading more—blogs, magazines, more blogs—and started to feel guilty about my lifestyle.

Yes, I love animals, but what about everything else? I love flowers and trees, so isn’t it just as harmful and cruel for me to pick them out of the ground and eat them as well? If I’m a vegetarian, shouldn’t I be more compassionate towards vegetation?

So, I became an oxygentarian.

What is an oxygentarian ? I make air the main focus of my consumption.

There’s no real reason. I mean, with the exception of the soy and caffeine, I don’t have an intolerance to any foods. But I started to question how necessary and humane the consumption of anything else really was. The reading I was doing—blogs, magazines, more blogs—was leading me to believe that I had to be “free” of everything to be a person of admirable character.

After all, the way I choose to eat and take care of myself defines the kind of person that I am and has a direct influence on how you should view yourself! At least that’s what I’ve read, anyway.

I know this is controversial and there are those that will judge me. Like sarcasm, I’m sure not everyone will pick up on the benefits. But it’s the only way I can be sure that nothing is harmed to satisfy my innate human cravings for nourishment and pleasure from food (just replace “food” with air! No decision has to be made!)

Along with gluten/sugar/fat/wheat/dairy/carb/sodium-free, being an oxygentarian is also guilt-free. Well, for the most part. 

There are still a few drawbacks. 

After all, with all the pollution, I can’t be assured that the air I’m breathing is organic and pure. There are oxygen bars in certain locations, but like Whole Foods and Trader Joes, there are none in my area, severely limiting my resources.


Plus, even though I’m saving a lot of money by not buying food, buying organic oxygen all the time would get expensive. 

I also worry a little bit about becoming an overbreather or a binge breather, and that some people won’t be able to hang around with me anymore because they’re jealous of my willpower and dedication to the planet—not to mention my own health.

But I just want everyone to know that I don’t judge. If you still enjoy actually eating food, I completely understand. I know there are people that see food as a pleasure and as something to be celebrated and necessary for survival, but for me, there were just too many “unknowns” associated with all of my decisions. This is just what I feel is best for my body right now.

At least that’s what I gathered from my reading—blogs, magazines, more blogs—and I trust that what’s best for others is probably best for me.

You know, common sense people.