Tag Archives: FYIs

FYI: Mindless Monday Edition

Some days I get a decent idea and go with it, writing effortlessly for a relatively long stretch of time—an hour is impressive in my world—and feel great about what I’ve done.

Tonight? Not so much.

Instead, I will share a few random things that have streaked through my brain in their raw naked glory—or at least a few I can remember.

It’s time for FYIs: Mindless Monday Edition!

cadbury1

Chocolate Cadbury Crack

Every time I hear clips of Lady Gaga music I get Madonna songs stuck in my head. Coincidence? I think not.

It’s easier to just throw away the shower curtain liner and buy a new one than it is to scrub the shower curtain liner. Contrary to popular belief, this is not the case with mini-blinds.

April showers in Michigan bring prolonged Seasonal Affective Disorder much sooner than they bring May flowers.

What we imagine events to mean will color the way we feel about ourselves, about the people in our lives and about the world at large.

Melissa Rivers looks just like Steven Tyler.

steven-tyler-e-melissa-rivers

Dude looks like a lady—or lady looks like a dude.

Loud cell phone conversations in public are the “reply all” of real life. It’s annoying and I will tell you this.

Sometimes I try too hard and sometimes not enough. It’s annoying—but it’s also okay—and I will tell myself this.

I can watch the Weather Channel’s “Local on the 8s” and get so distracted by the trippy music that I have no idea what forecast I just saw.

It takes infinitely longer to fold and put away laundry than it takes to actually wash the stuff. (Cut out the middle man and don’t fold. You’ll add hours to your life.)

Having people notice a new haircut made me feel good enough to cancel out the guilt I had for cheating on my hairdresser.

There is yoga, and then there is yoga-flavored exercise.

yogajmichael

Yes, Jillian. I’m talking to you.

On that note, if I need a boost in self-esteem, I just turn on Exercise TV and listen to the manic trainers tell me I’m “doing great!” and “looking fabulous!” and that they’re extremely proud of me.

I still want a goat.

Gay men in their ‘30s make the best cupcakes, and Sangria—and jokes about gay men, cupcakes and Sangria.

Straight men in their ‘30s don’t know what the hell Sangria is—and make philosophical arguments about the vastness of the universe that are inversely proportional in logic to the amount of beer consumed.

Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. I would still rather be a “good people.”

If I can’t have a goat, I want him.

So what can you contribute to Mindless Monday? Any FYIs floating around?

New Year, new round of FYIs

It’s been awhile since I’ve done FYIs, so I thought the new year would be a good excuse to scrounge up another round. They’re not really seasonal in nature, but whenever I write something serious I doubt posting, I always feel like I have to hurry up and write something else right away.

So without further ado, FYI:

While they say a watched pot never boils, the second you turn your back and start doing something else, it will completely spill over.

You have to let down your guard to let someone in.

It’s easier to just buy new mini-blinds than it is to try and clean them. (The same goes for shower curtain liners, but to a lesser extent.)

No one should own a pair of Pajama Jeans.

pajama-jeans

If you find yourself saying “but I was only trying to help” a lot, you’re not helping (especially if helping involves gifting a pair of Pajama Jeans.)

Be better, not bitter.

Sundays are for washing floors and clothes, not for washing hair.

When you don’t have money to buy something, you will find a bunch of things you want to buy. As soon as you are given gift cards, you will be unable to find anything at all.

“Anonymous” is blog speak for “Chicken Shit.”

You can’t be in a bad mood if you’re dancing.

When you get a flat tire, you fix it. You don’t slash the other three. My point? Even if you take a step back with resolutions, you can always take the next step forward.

We always hear about the “good old days.” If that’s the case, then 10 years from now we’ll look back at these times as the “good old days,” so enjoy each day right now.

Then again, I much preferred Gilad’s “Bodies In Motion,” Denise Austin and Jack La Lanne to Jillian and Jackie Warner, so maybe I’m full of crap.

gilad

Don’t fill silence with assumptions.

In life, it seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.

Since Joel McHale still hasn’t called, I’m moving on to Daniel Tosh (but Joel still had a standing invitation.)

daniel-tosh1

Say what you mean, mean what you say. Never say sorry for feeling that way.

There are two kinds of people—those that eat the skin on baked potatoes and those that don’t. The cool people eat the skin. (This logic does not apply to bananas.)

You can—and will—always be humbled by something or someone. This is a good thing.

People with the least amount of responsibility will continually complain about being too busy.

Adding Brussel sprouts to a Whopper does not negate the fact that it’s still a freaking Whopper.

alg_bk_brussels_sprout

Contestants on cooking shows—Iron Chef or not—sweat entirely too much for any of the food to look appetizing.

Every minute of the day is not an emergency or something to urgently be filled with something, anything. Busyness does not equate with productivity, so breathe, prioritize and make time for yourself.

I constantly have a “writer’s voice” running dialogue through my head—observations, poems, ideas—and it’s exhausting.

Because of this, I would love to give my brain a break and read your FYIs. (OK, the two are completely unrelated, but I love your FYI comments.)

So, if one of your resolutions was to comment more on random rambling blogs, I am presenting you the chance to succeed. Why wait until tomorrow?

Another round of FYIs

I haven’t felt much like blogging lately, so I thought I would compile another rousing round of FYIs. Instead I came up with these…

The best way to make yourself feel better about having to wait in a long line is to look at the people behind you. You’re ahead. Gloat a little.

It’s perfectly acceptable to wait in a long line to see the winner of ArtPrize, especially considering the fact that it made “The Today Show” a couple times.

Teeth are jewels, not tools.

Maybe you only need to be good at one thing? Good to know, but I have to find that thing, as practicality often trumps passion. Let’s move on to pretty colors…

Fall really is beautiful in Michigan and the perfect time to go for a hayride through one of your favorite towns.

rockford1However, tripping and falling face first into the side of one of the horses is not a pleasant experience. (At least that’s what the woman who face-planted into the sweaty side of the Clydesdale said.)

A lot of times I think I really want something, but then when I get the opportunity to possibly attain it, I get freaked out and don’t want it anymore. I’m working on this (this is not related to the hayride mentioned above. Or teeth, although I value my teeth immensely.)

My blog world and real world are starting to collide, and this doesn’t make me happy. The end.

I know I’m not one to talk, but sometimes celebrities just look creepy when they get skinny (Drew Carey, Al Roker and Alton Brown come to mind.)

drew-carey

al (But he did do the ArtPrize story, so he gets some credit.)

Free popcorn is like crack to senior citizens. Get out of the way, or get your toes run over—nuns are not exempt from this maniacal phenomenon.

A little integrity is better than any career.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

I really want to like “The Office” this season, but it’s just not happening.

This week I have been summoned for jury duty. To prepare, I plan on watching the judges on “The Next Iron Chef” tonight and taking meticulous notes (yes, it will have skinny Alton Brown.)

And also this crazy, self-absorbed “Duskie” lady who scares me, even when she’s not holding sharp objects.  I’m all about local food, but wearing pigtails…really?

“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.” –Anais Nin

There are  times I don’t feel like going and doing something “social,”  but then half the time I end up enjoying myself and wondering why I don’t do it more often. However, that does leave the other half of the time. I suppose it evens out.

The “clean house” smell you spent a couple hours working on will be instantly negated by cooking salmon. However, it’s worth it (plus, if you drop any on the floor, you feel better about picking it up and popping it in your mouth.)

This just makes me laugh.

 

So now it’s your turn. Give me something to look forward to reading when I get home from a day of civic duty.

What are your FYIs?

FYIs again…part 4?

Lentils are a delightful alternative to beans in my usual rice bowl creations.

“Lentil” is also easier to say than garbanzo.

Forgetting that there are fireworks planned nearby on a Friday night can freak the crap out of you when the booms and bangs begin.

Sometimes you shouldn’t feel guilty for liking the same exact thing every day (or using the same picture numerous times.)

After all, food is weird, but so are people.

Wearing clicky shoes makes me feel important.

Wearing running shoes makes me feel more comfortable.

Some people will accept your unhealthy behavior if it benefits them in some way. This doesn’t make it OK.

School buses evidently stop at each individual child’s driveway now instead of at a bus “stop.”

I walked to a bus stop down the street every morning when I was little, and we had more fun before the bus came than we did the whole day at school.

Numbers, comments and opinions are only as strong as the power you assign to them.

Typos are unfortunate, especially if they involve the words “public,” “exotic” or pens…I’ll give you a minute.

There is nothing wrong with doctoring up an organic frozen meal…

and then taking over a real chef’s blog and pretending to know how to cook.

Even when I’m going the speed limit, my heart still jumps into my throat when I drive by a cop running radar. After that passes, I get arrogant and feel like I deserve extra credit or something for obeying the law.

Most people are looking for an excuse, not a solution. Do not be one of these people. (This annoys me, even if it’s me.)

I get freaked out when I feel my pulse in weird places.

It’s Astrid’s birthday next week, but she’s giving a present to you! Stop by her blog and wish her a happy day, as she makes me smile (and hungry) each time I do.

I wanted to include my usual video that excites and amazes, but I couldn’t get it embedded because I’m stupid technologically (not technically stupid, mind you.) So, if you want some recommendations of books NOT to read this year, Jimmy Fallon has a few suggestions.

As always, share your FYIs!

FYIs, part 3

Sneezing when you’re driving is kind of scary.

I love a good book, but hate when it’s finished. For that reason I will always leave the last few pages and kind of ration them out over a couple days, unless I have another book waiting to be read. Then I just finish the first one and move on.

Larabar is retiring the Cocoa Mole flavor, so stock up if you like it.

lara (It was never my favorite flavor, but maybe I should still send a card joking about all the extra time it will have to go golfing now?)

Two people can experience the exact same thing in entirely different ways.

When you are running behind, the following things are bound to happen on your drive: you will realize your gas tank is on “E” and debate the merits of stopping or chancing it and waiting until later; you will hit every red light; you will get stuck behind a farm implement with no room to pass (still obsessively checking the gas gauge every five seconds) before passing a cop and silently thanking said farm implement for forcing you to go under the speed limit even though you’re late.

OK. Maybe that just happened to me.

I love The Onion and this one is so, so true. Person With Almost No Responsibility Always Stressed Out.

I can feel much more insecure than I thought, and this royally pisses me off.

Baking salmon, steaming broccoli and boiling eggs at the same time can make your kitchen smell…interesting.

Amy’s Four Cheese Pizza is in fact a bit more delicious than just the cheese version.

4chz

They claim the crust is thinner, but I didn’t think so (I love the crust on this one.) And as we know, thin food can cause controversy.

Post block syndrome—similar to writer’s block in that one feels unable to come up with any post-worthy content.

"People can’t conceive of a virtue in someone else that they can’t conceive in themselves. Instead of believing you’re stronger, it’s so much easier to imagine you’re weaker." — Chuck Palahniuk

If an old lady calls you “sweetie,” it’s sweet. If a woman your own age calls you “sweetie,” it’s completely condescending.

Speaking of sweet, here is your cute animal video for the week.

Finding a band-aid anywhere is just really gross.

There will be people that don’t like you. There will be people you don’t like. Shrug it off.

I’m learning it takes trust and vulnerability to really be a friend.  See, a true friend is one that has seen your vulnerabilities, couldn’t care less and reminds you that this too shall pass.

On that note, it’s “couldn’t care less” and not “could care less.” Sorry. Pet peeve.

All my magazine subscriptions arrive on about the same day and I feel overwhelmed and like I have to hurry up and read them all. However, two weeks later half of them will still be sitting on my “throw it there” table, unread. Sigh…

I always doubt myself the second I hit publish on certain posts, but it helps to remember that:

"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path" ~ coehlo

Nuns riding bikes will not always yield to pedestrians. Trust me on this one.

Just like the last two times, share your FYIs!

FYIs, part 2

Kashi  Heart to Heart Whole Grain Crackers are not nearly as good as Triscuits “With a Hint of Salt.”

triscuit

In fact, they taste fruity and rather unpleasant in comparison.

It’s entirely possible to feel closer to someone you’ve never met in person than people you see every day.

Things you don’t want to hear the neighbor kids say, “Either eat it or let’s bury it. Mom just can’t find out.”

Things you don’t want to hear your boss say, “Mandatory team building event.”

theofficeThis is code for “bull shit.” 

You can be beat without being defeated.

There is too much “blogligation” out there. It’s a blog, and in most cases, it’s not your life. Make no apologies.

I still fully intend on including “spatulate” into my vocabulary.

When going for a walk, do not get stuck behind a garbage truck on garbage day—a garbage day that’s 85 degrees, in particular.

Sometimes you have to do something even if you don’t want to. It doesn’t matter why you do it, only that you do.

You don’t always have to be deep, but avoid being shallow.

Trust me, there are ugly babies.

However, there are no ugly baby animals.

Jealousy and regret are useless emotions. This doesn’t mean I don’t still feel them, but just that I acknowledge that they’re useless.

Once in awhile, a change of blog scenery can be kind of fun (even if you scare people off.)

There are often more personalities than there is logic.

For 99 people that don’t understand, there is always that one left that does. Look for that one. If you can’t find them, be that one yourself.

Trust me.

This is worth your five minutes to watch.

Just like last time, do you have any FYIs to share?

My Weekend FYIs

It takes infinitely longer to fold and put away laundry than it takes to actually wash the stuff. (Cut out the middle man and don’t fold. You’ll add hours to your life.)

While I occasionally wear Clinique “Happy” or “Happy Heart,” lately my fragrance of choice has been garlic or a great new fragrance called “Deet.”

There are only small joys in life. The big ones are to complicated to be joys when you get all through with them. Once you realize this, it takes the pressure off.

If I don’t know the author, I do judge a book by its cover—and by its title. While I don’t generally do this with people, when looking for a new “used” book at the store, I have to admit that the cover and the title will grab me. (This doesn’t surprise me, considering I’m distracted by colors and  shiny things.)

Brown basmati rice is more expensive that “regular” brown rice, but worth every penny for the swap.

Of all the reasons to get married, love and pissing off your family are both pretty strong.

article-1294682-0A70C01F000005DC-38_468x628Don’t always believe everything you think. It can be nice to trust someone other than yourself.

It’s quite possible that this is the cutest video ever. If it doesn’t make you smile, you have no soul.

I think I love him.

Sometimes you have to remove self-judgment and look objectively at your own situation. You’re not that bad. It’s not that bad. Cut yourself some slack.

Most of the people that tell you to “relax” are almost always the source of your anxiety.

Inspiration Deficit Disorder isn’t a real thing, but it should be (hell, we give every other thing a “scientific” name.)

There is no baseline for normal. Once you realize this, it takes the pressure off.

The only thing I know about “The Hills is from what I’ve seen on “The Soup,” and that was entirely too much. That was really a show? (But I would be enthralled watching Joel read the phone book, so I can’t complain.) 

soup-logo I think I love him.

You can stop without quitting, take a break when you want to. Once you realize this, it takes the pressure off.

Any FYI’s to share?