Tag Archives: award

I’m a Winner!

I just about crapped kittens when I found out that I won not one, but TWO Studio30 Plus Boomerang Awards, as voted on by Studio30 Plus members:

2011 Best Female Blogger (a tie)


2011 Blog of the Year

Although they promised me a cool button/badge to put on my site next week, I found out there was no formal awards ceremony or anything. This is kind of disappointing, as I was planning on wearing these


My birthday tiara…


…and an attempt at makeup that would  make a drag queen either proud or absolutely disgusted. You know how I crap glamour.

But since there’s no ceremony, I’ll just have to go ahead and wear the get-up to the grocery store one night this week like I had planned. The snow presents a bit of a challenge with the shoes, but now that I’m a WINNER, perhaps I can just get someone to carry me so my feet don’t actually have to touch the ground.

I’ll let you know how that works out.

Anyway, I suppose I should give some sort of speech, so here’s where you visualize me walking up to the podium in those kick-ass shoes, tripping and hitting the floor—most likely exposing my ass to the audience—and bravely adjusting my tiara before saying:

First of all, I would like to thank the whole crew at Studio30 Plus, as finding that community has most certainly been a highlight in my year.

The amount of talented people that interact on that site is ridiculous, and I’m constantly humbled by the things they can do with words and that they let me into such a cool club (never mind that they let everyone it. Go with it.)

Second, I would like to thank anyone who has ever read anything I’ve written, unless it was one of those stupid posts in which I just complain. I’m sorry about that, but it will probably happen again.

My blog is tiny in comparison to the millions of other bloggers out there. It’s not self-hosted, it takes me hours to figure out how to add a crappy picture (see above) and I pretty much just ramble about whatever’s on my mind.

Yet a handful of you guys still read, and despite what I may claim, it is nice to be noticed and acknowledged in some way. Blogging is a hobby, and unless your hobby involves poking rabid animals with sticks, hobbies are supposed to be fun and not stressful. 

So until someone actually pays me to write this crap—I’m a WINNER now!—I’ll try not to spend too much time stressing that I have nothing to write about. No promises, but I like you guys and want to have fun. That would be impossible if I worried about following 10,ooo people or getting 10,000 people to follow me.

That’s never been my goal.

In fact, my “goal” list includes items like “make a new to-do list” and “find the piece of broccoli I dropped down the couch,” not “become the next Bloggess.” (Although honestly, that would be cool. The Bloggess thing and finding that piece of rogue broccoli.)

So I am very humbled and grateful for the awards and would just like to thank everyone for everything everywhere. That includes my couch for being a constant source of support, and Comcast for providing such shitty service that I often have angst I can channel into a post.

And don’t worry!

Just because I’m a WINNER doesn’t mean I don’t still put my pajama pants on one leg at a time like you do, only to realize that I’ve been wearing them backwards a couple hours later. That won’t change either. I’m prepared to stay humble and self-deprecating. 

But most of all, I promise to never forget the little people—the drunk nuns, the Verizon phone operators, and of course, Uncle June.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go stress that I don’t have anything else to blog about, put on my tiara and try to get something free at the bookstore. “But I’m a WINNER!”

I’ll let you know how that works out.

You Can Be a Winner, Too!

Because I’m a WINNER, I want to make at least two of you feel like winners too, so I’m giving away two (2) signed copies of my book. If you already have it/don’t want it, I’ll send you a $10 Amazon gift card instead.

All you have to do is tell me a) the name of your pet and why you chose that name or b) what you would name your next pet. I’ll randomly select two people from the comments on Wednesday and email the winners.

It’s All About Me

One of my biggest blogging apprehensions is that people will think I use it as a platform of self-indulgence, that I only want to talk about myself. Despite evidence to the contrary—this whole darn blog— that’s really not my intent. I’m not that interesting.

That’s why I never do any of those blog “meme” things that make the rounds. In fact, I hate that word “meme” and had to look it up a couple months ago to find out what it was. Anyway, I avoid them and pretend they don’t exist—kind of like children.

But when the fantabulous Jess tagged with with this one, I simply couldn’t refuse (mostly because I don’t have many friends and I’m desperate for her to like me.)


I’m kidding…kind of.

Anyway, I’m not sure what it’s all about, but the bottom line is that I’m supposed to tell you 10 random things about myself. So even though I’ve been a crank pot all week and haven’t felt like writing, I’ve decided to be self-indulgent and overshare uninteresting things.

You can blame Jess.

Me #1: I listen to sports talk radio 99 percent of the time. While I like music enough, it’s pretty much all sports all the time.

Me #2: I like plastic silverware. I don’t know where this came from, but even when I’m home, I prefer to use plastic silverware as opposed to the real thing (but yes, I use the real stuff most of the time.) I know it’s not “green,” but I do wash it and reuse it. In fact, it’s because I use it at work and bring it home to wash that I end up using it at home.

Me #3: Staying with the utensil theme, I also like to eat out of bowls and drink with a straw. I consider both of them to be preventative measures, as I am prone to spilling. While I don’t take bowls with me wherever I go, I do have a little baggie of coffee stir straws in my purse and a bag of my tea—my other three-times-a-day obsession—for those emergency situations.

Me #4: Even though I’m a vegetarian , I still like the smell of grilled BBQ chicken, bacon and a turkey in the oven at my mom’s house. Sometimes it grosses me out, but sometimes it just smells like home.

Me #5:  I love goats.


Especially baby goats.

Me #6: While my obsessions aren’t really a secret, I have a special thing for brushing my teeth and cleaning my ears every day with a Q-tip. Also, I like to smell nice, so I have a wide variety of perfumes and smelly lotions that I use on a daily basis, even if I’m just hanging out with myself. Sometimes I’ll even spray it on before bed.

I’m fancy.

Me #7: I still don’t know what I want to be doing five years from now. My ideal situation would have me working in an organic grocery store/bakery/coffeehouse/yoga studio in a community of like-minded, animal-loving Zen people, but I haven’t found that yet.

Me #8: A lot of what I think when I start to write something in my head is done in poetic form. It’s rhythmic and actually quite annoying, as it’s like getting a song stuck in your head and not being able to remember the words (because you’ve yet to write them.) I rarely write them down, but once in awhile I’ll make a post out of them and share with the class.

Me #9: You’ll think I’m nuts, but I’ve had more than my share of dream premonitions. No, I can’t predict lottery numbers, but I’ve had dozens of dreams about many “big” things that have later come to fruition in one way or another. More often than not I’ll dream of someone I haven’t seen in forever and they’ll contact me or something the next day. It’s weird, but my mom does it, too.

Me #10: If I had the discipline and patience, I could write one kick-ass memoir. No one really knows how I’ve got to where I am—wherever that is—and I think it would be an insanely entertaining and poignant read. However, I have no discipline or patience, so you get this blog.  

Bonus Me: I obviously can’t just list something without feeling the need to explain myself.


But look! Another baby goat—in a feed dish!

While I could bestow this blog award on a whole bunch of people who are much cooler than me, I won’t put the pressure on anyone else. (But if you do it on your blog, let me know so I can stalk you.)

What I will do is put the pressure on you to comment with one thing about you.