A text I got from my mom the other day that might give you a bit of insight into my early command of authority:
“I was cleaning out some drawers of mine and found a note you wrote the Tooth Fairy. OMG. You were so direct and authoritative. Made me laugh. Then cry. Thank you for being a wonderful weirdo.”
I had to investigate.
On a little 3-by-3-inch piece of paper was the following, word for word, scratched out in pencil:
Dear Tooth Fairy,
You need to know that this tooth was really a pin in the butt! I could twist it all the way around!! It was a lot of work!!!
Please leave the money under my pillow and sign your name on the line below:
The pencil is on my desk. Please don’t use my purple pen. It’s my favorite.
Have a good night!
Let’s “workshop” this, shall we?
I like how I conveyed a sense of familiarity with the addition of “again” to my hello. Then I get right to the point, telling her the necessary information surrounding the situation and the effort I had put forth to extract said tooth.
I also think it was a nice touch the way I built up the emotion with progressively more exclamation points each time.
Then I rounded things out with the call to action and verification of her status —money under pillow, sign on the line, avoid purple pen—to clear up any confusion, before politely wishing her well on the remainder of her rounds.
Yes, I am a wonderful weirdo.
And while you’re there, here are a couple more of the gazillions of things I wrote over there I thought you might enjoy.
30 Ridiculous Kitchen Gadgets You Want In Your Life (I want the Sushi Bazooka or Tex the Armadillo)
Bacon Lovers Unite! 35 Fun and Ridiculous Bacon Products (yes, I’m a vegan who wrote about bacon)
28 Brilliant Food Hacks that Will Make You a Kitchen Genius (Sorry this is multi-page. It’s annoying, but they’re looking into fixing some issues.)
Before you go, I have to bring it back to me—it’s all about ME—and warn you that putting a bra under your pillow like you do teeth for the Tooth Fairy will NOT result in waking up with big boobs. Highly disappointing, but I guess that’s adulthood.
P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.