Tara from “You Know It Happens At Your House, Too” Has Issues

Be honest. How many times have you done something like run out of the house in your robe and flip-flops in the snow to drag the trash bin out to the curb, had your neighbor notice you and think, “Oh, please. You know it happens at your house, too.”

Just me? No, I don’t think so, my friends.

That’s why this week’s blogger and “I Just Want to Pee Alone” contributor spilling her issues—Tara from You Know It Happens At Your House, Too—is so easy to like.

She has a farmer husband, five kids, a love for wine and a strong affection for Johnny Depp. She enjoys humor and dislikes uptight people. She drinks an absurd amount of coffee and depending on the day, an absurd amount of wine.

Lucky for us, I caught her on one of those latter days and she agreed to share her issues—and her talents with catching bodily fluids—with us.

Tara2 

Name: I usually go by “Hey *insert child’s name here* mom*, but for these purposes I’ll go by Tara

Blog:  http://youknowithappensatyourhousetoo.com

Where, what, and why do you write?

I write really great stuff in my mind, usually while in the shower which explains why it never makes it to paper.  I try my best to write the funny stuff, because I have hopes that somewhere someone will find me funny because my family really doesn’t.

 (Editor’s note: We find you funny, Tara. The Internet is your family. Come back to us now, my friend.)

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

Why have I not put a coffee maker on my night stand programmed to come on at the sound of the Red Hot Chili Peppers yelling at me to get up?  

What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?

Chin hair. Women should NOT have chin hair. We have babies, the monthly “special time” and saggy boobs. We should absolutely NOT have to spend our free time looking for rogue hairs.  It’s bullshit really.

(Another note: Great. Another blogger rubbing it in that they have boobs and don’t have to resort to have a sock stuffed in their bra while sporting a mullet.)

Three websites you visit every day.

The Facebook–because if it isn’t on the Facebook, it never happened

The Twitter–because after being on the Facebook, I need to laugh about something.

One other reputable news source like Buzzfeed or The Onion.

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?

I can change an explodo-poo diaper in the dark with absolutely no spillage and I can catch vomit in my hands. Both incredibly useful, yet completely useless.

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

All Targets would be required to have an open bar next to Starbucks, because for the amount of money we spend in there they could at least buy us a drink or six.

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

I think my family would agree that we don’t need more than one of me, so I would play myself. The important question here is who would play Farmer Bob?  There is really only one answer to that.  Johnny Depp–because Johnny Depp.

You can only eat three foods for a week. What are they?

Nachos, burritos and Milk Duds. I wish I had a funny reason why, but really I just put those down because it’s all I’ve been able to think about since I read this question.

What’s the last thing you Googled?

How to spell the word restrant, restraint, resturant. You know, those places where we go to eat.

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

Quite frankly, I couldn’t have handled one more question. All I hear all day are questions: Mom, when’s lunch? Mom, where’s my shoe? Mom, does my underwear stink? Mom, why is she touching me?  Mom, when can we eat again?  Mom, do you need more wine?  I’m questioned out, except for that last one in which the answer is always yes.

So there you have it. Go check her out and show her some love on her blog and Facebook so when she goes on Shark Tank to pitch her coffee maker alarm clock, you can say you knew her back in the day. I’ll be back here on Sunday with more rambles.

First though, humor me. What’s the last thing you Googled?

Need a fun holiday gift? Buy the books and cool things!

zazzle.jpg

P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my  Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

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8 responses to “Tara from “You Know It Happens At Your House, Too” Has Issues

  1. I think she is very funny.

  2. I LOVE milk duds, and Tara.

  3. I like this Tara woman. 🙂

    Last thing googled was Christopher Walken. A Facebook friend posted a sort of cryptic message wondering what Christopher Walken was thinking. I figured there’d be some internet clues out there in Google land but no. So I still don’t know what the FB post was about.

  4. kdcol – that probably had to do with his appearance on the live version of Peter Pan last night–as in, “That was HORRIBLE–what was he thinking, appearing in that?!?” I can only guess, because I didn’t watch it.

    I love Tara too. Having four children, I feel her pain in being constantly queried every minute of every day–“Hey mommy…hey mommy…hey mommy…” that’s all I hear all day too. I tell people who have infants and claim they can’t wait until those kids learn to talk, “OH YES YOU CAN.” The only thing is, my kids never ask if their underwear stinks. They don’t care. When I insist that my kids change their underwear, you’d think I was forcing them to rip off their eyelids and put on new ones.

  5. She definitely needs to go on Shark Tank, because that idea is GENIUS.

  6. I also think of my best stuff in the shower. I was all ready to invent a shower notepad and bring it on Shark Tank, but sadly discovered that they already exist. Now I’ve put one on my Christmas list.

  7. Totally agreed on the Nachos and burritos! I would loveeee my life to be filled with those things 24/7. Last thing I googled was Bad Elster Germany because we are doing a show there tomorrow for our tour and there is just NOTHING to do there. Can’t a girl just hit up a movie theater and see Hunger Games if she wants? No. I’m in the middle of nowhere clinging to wordpress because I have wifi for a few hours.

  8. Tara is awesome and has a new fan!!

    Also, last thing I Googled? “Beth Teliho’s Vagina”

    Yeah, don’t ask.

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