GOOP Holiday Gift Guide: Revised!

This is the time of year when everyone publishes holiday gift guides with super practical items like a $345,000 Celebrity Robot Avatar from Hammacher Schlemmer to a $150, 15-pound loaf of bread from Oprah’s Favorite Things.

Gwenyth Paltrow, actress, queen of condescension and creator of GOOP—“an eminent lifestyle publication”— got in on the act with their own GOOP Gift Guide for 2014. I realize that I might not be the target audience, seeing as I save 20 minutes on my beauty routine by not having a beauty routine, but I am in the publication’s demographic.

I am also an editor and decided to rewrite some of the captions they included in the guide to appeal to the more practical anti-GOOPer out there, like:

Easy Health Angel Juicer

$4,739

Caption: Absurd, but awesome.

What it should say: Gold jewelry for your kitchen that will cost more green than it will ever juice.

See where I’m going with this?

Actually, I’m going over to In the Powder Room with this, so head on over and read the other nine “New and Improved” Holiday Gift Guide descriptions.

GOOP Gift Guide_ Revised!Happy anti-GOOPing and I’ll see you here on Tuesday!

Shopping like a normal person? Buy the books and cool things!

zazzle.jpg

P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my  Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

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5 responses to “GOOP Holiday Gift Guide: Revised!

  1. So I went over and checked out the rest and this just made me all kinds of happy. Thank you.

  2. This anti-GOOPer loves this! 😉

  3. I really hate (almost) all gift guides that raid the blog world this time of year. I checked out the rest on the other site as well. You have a great voice for parody.

  4. Oh Gwyneth..You so funny

  5. Commented over there. No not there… OVER THERE! No NO To the left! Your other left!!!

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