Today you’re in for a real treat, as this week’s blogger has more than 1 million Facebook fans—yes, I said 1 million in a Dr. Evil voice—but is still completely down to earth despite the picture she sent me below.
In her own words, she is “gently and consistently offensive, but tenderhearted! I mean no harm, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be harmed by something I write. However, since I’m only responsible for what I write, not what you understand or how you interpret what I write, harm is a subjective term, so you could feel harmed, even though I told you that I mean no harm.”
Amen, sister. Amen.
But more than a blogger, best-selling author and Facebook freak, she’s also a mental health professional with two advanced degrees – one in psychology, the other in gerontology—and is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor working part-time in private practice.
Given my own issues with mental health, this make me love her even more in a “non-creepy-but-I-will-stalk-from-a-distance” kind of way. I’m certain that once you read below, enter a giveaway for a FREE copy of her book that I’m jealous someone will win and then go check her out, you will become a stalker as well.
Restraining orders, be damned.
Name: Nicole Knepper, but I like to be called Sugar Tits
(Editor’s note: Who doesn’t?)
Blog: Moms Who Drink And Swear
Where, what and why do you write?
First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
I want coffee and I wonder if one of the dogs took a shit under the piano bench, and if so, what is the consistency of the shit?
What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?
Myself. Always myself. I am chasing the fantasy that someday I’ll be able to manage my time.
Three websites you visit every day.
Chicago Tribune, Wall Street Journal, Vice
(Editor’s note again: By “Wall Street Journal,” I assume she means my blog. The two are easily confused.)
What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?
I see auras. I’m not even f#cking kidding. It’s like energy coming off a person. I can just see and feel it and then I can work my own energy to make the interaction work.
Favorite place to be?
By the water. Not the bathtub or shower water or doing dishes or laundry water, but a body of water like the ocean or a lake.
If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?
Oooohh. I think I would have a silent day. If people wanted to communicate, they would have to write down stuff. It would make people think a bit more about what comes out of their brains and why.
(Another editor’s note: sign me up)
What TV show would you want to appear on?
I want to be a corpse on a crime show and I want the backstory to be grisly and puzzling.
(Fun fact: I once went to a Halloween party in Chicago and Gary Sinise (from CSI: NY and Forrest Gump) and his band, the Lt. Dan Band, were the entertainment. I miss CSI: NY. OK. Back to Nicole.)
Best and worst things I could find in your refrigerator right now?
Best – Meyer lemon raspberry jam. Worst – Celery in the beginning stages of rot.
What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?
I wish you had asked me if my mother was a hamster or if my father smelled of elderberries. I would have answered in the affirmative, because of flesh wounds.
(Last note: I had no idea what she was talking about, but apparently it’s a Monty Python reference everyone knows but me. Let’s move on.)
Because she is so tenderhearted, she has offered to give away a copy of her book, “Moms Who Drink and Swear” to a random person who comments on this post answering the question below. The giveaway is open to U.S. residents with a sense of humor and a random winner will be drawn on Tuesday morning and notified via email.
Since there are a few movie references in this post, what’s a movie quote that you use all the time?
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