Today is Friday, which means another blogger will be sharing their issues, although I don’t know how she has time seeing as she has 4-year-old twins and a 2 year old.
(If you will recall, I can barely maintain my garden/horticultural hospice.)
She also has a best-selling book, “At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles,” and is working on the next one while still blogging, parenting and mixing the perfect Gin and tonic (presumably for her and not the children.)
Since she found a few minutes to class up this joint, I now present Paige Kellerman (who I can guarantee is much more attractive than the lame graphic I attempted to make.)
Name: Paige Kellerman
Where, what and why do you write?
I write humor that’s sometimes mistaken for writing that’s not funny. I work mostly in a notebook on my couch, but occasionally I’ll pretend to work on the computer and be on Pinterest instead. This is probably why most people refer to me as “The Next Great American Author No One Will Ever Hear Of.” My reasons for writing have always been pretty deep, mainly fame, fortune and being able to afford a personal chef so I don’t have to cook for my family one day.
First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning:
Who’s breathing on me?
What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?
Right now, it’s probably the baby climbing in the tub and turning it on while I’m trying to leave your readers with something worthwhile.
Nope, never mind. He was actually throwing the entire new bottle of body wash in the toilet. I’ll be heading to the grocery store after this.
Three websites you visit every day:
What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?
I went to an entrepreneurial camp when I was a senior in high school. I rode on a bus to Iowa where I learned how to make a business plan and open up a nightclub. I found that business plan in a box the other day. Every floor of the club was supposedly going to be made of glass and not result in some sort of tragedy. I think the point here is that I can make a really shoddy business plan.
Favorite place to be?
Home. I love to travel, but I’m happiest on my couch, reading and drinking.
If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?
That’s a tough one. I think there should be something governing how long someone can wait for your parking spot. It takes me an hour to get three kids buckled in their car seats. I’m sorry, anonymous person idling in your Hummer.
What TV show would you want to appear on?
Hands down, Conan. I’ve wanted to meet him since I was a kid. If I ever make it on there, I’m giving you a shout out.
Best and worst things I could find in your refrigerator right now?
There’s wine and a bowl of strawberries I got all domesticated and cut up the other day. There’s also a Tupperware of baked ziti I wouldn’t open if I were you.
What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?
I wish you’d asked me how renovations on the house are going. Because I would’ve said, “They’re going really great, Abby. I just painted our crappy backsplash and now it looks a little less crappy. I’m really proud of that. Thanks for asking.”
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