I missed two of my mom’s calls the other day, which meant I assumed the helicopter flying over my house was part of the search crew she called.
Now don’t get me wrong—I love my mom a lot.
After all, she did raise me in the days before she could take to social media and complain about how hard it is to be a mom. In fact, she even did it while going through 13 spinal surgeries and a host of other issues and still managed to raise a highly intelligent dog and then me, a semi-functional/slightly-neurotic daughter who uses her mom for blog fodder from time to time.
Well, this is one of those times.
Why? Because all moms are nuts. Maybe not “dress a dead cat up in a bright red sweater before burying it in the backyard” or “force her daughter to bring a traveling gnome to the theater” nuts like my mom, but in one way or another, they’re all nuts.
If you need proof, I present to you this exciting new book you can buy.
In fact, you can buy EXTRA copies of it and send it to all the moms out there for Mother’s Day as proof that even the moms of Emmy winners and TV personalities are sometimes bat shit crazy.
The fancy description:
“Moms are Nuts is a collection of stories about mothers, grandmothers, mother-in-laws and mother figures who have crossed the paths of some of the wittiest writers and comedians. Laugh your way through 26 brilliant stories… some of which may sound waaaay too familiar.”
And then there’s this from the back cover:
“Emmy winners, magazine editors, comedians, TV personalities, bestselling authors and social media superstars team up to bring you a laugh-out-loud book not about being a mom, but about having a mom, grandmom or mom-figure. And while it’s not OK for someone else to make yo-momma jokes about your momma, it is perfectly healthy even downright hilarious to find the humor in your own upbringing. In fact, these writers highly recommend it. So if you think your mom is nuts, pull up a chair. You’re in good company.”
Who are some of these people?
Only the likes of Gloria Fallon, Suzy Soro, Amy Vansant and Wendi Aarons, among a bunch of other people with a well-established resume of success despite—and even possibly as a result of—the mother figure in their lives.
Oh yeah. I’m in there, too.
For all of the details, you can check out the website and then head on over to Amazon to buy the ALL the copies in paperback and Kindle! Not only will you laugh and feel a bit normal, but you can add a copy of “I Just Want to be Alone” and have your Mother’s Day shopping done.
And if you have wrapping paper left over from Christmas, use that to wrap it up in. This will show your mom that not only do you have a sense of humor, but also a deep devotion to recycling and being earth-friendly.
So if you love your mother, be sure to pick this book up. Either as a token of your affection, or as a way to distract yourself when she’s 15 minutes into making a “long story short” on the phone.
You’ll thank me later.
Like the blog? Buy the books!