Aside from the fact that I believe Sundays are for washing floors and not my hair, part of the reason I enjoy Sundays is that the new grocery ads and coupons come out. This means I can clip coupons I’ll forget to bring with me to the store as I try and buy the things that are on sale before going home and starting a new list of all the things I forgot.
This week while browsing the Target ad and picking out items I didn’t even know I needed, I came across this little gem:
It’s not a Halloween costume, as was my first thought, but rather a collection of footie pajamas for grown women. Now upon first glance I was slightly horrified, as quite honestly the thought of a grown woman wearing something that resembled Ralphie’s pink bunny pajamas from “A Christmas Story” on purpose seemed a bit ridiculous.
But then I realized that unlike the Snuggie straightjacket or Pajama Jeans, this little number might actually be a practical investment! I’m always cold—and no, not just emotionally—and in the winter I sleep in a sweatshirt, pajama pants and sometimes socks. Technically speaking, this little number would combine all three of those items with one convenient zip up the front.
Is it the sexiest thing in the world?
Despite the trendy leopard print, I would have to say that it’s more of a pajama condom or fleece chastity belt than it is a sexy little number. But then again, you know that I’m not exactly a diva and I’m not looking for sexy while I’m curled up on the couch shoving garlic hummus in my face while watching a “Chopped” marathon on TV.
But then I remembered that a) I have a bladder the size of a Cheerio and b) I am an adult.
While I would enjoy the additional warmth, I feel it would be negated when I had to unzip every hour to evacuate aforementioned tiny bladder. Plus, when you really have to go, the last thing you want to have happen is that the zipper gets stuck and you find yourself wrestling with the damn thing while hopping around on your footies in an attempt not to perform a No.1 in your onesie.
The thing is, I used to have something similar when I was little. They were these white and pink button-up one-piece pajamas, but they didn’t have footies, I wore a T-shirt underneath and they included a drop seat in the back, which was much more convenient for bladder evacuation.
True, there were times the back came unbuttoned unceremoniously to reveal what were most likely Popple underwear and more often than not I unbuttoned the whole thing to pee–that little drop door wasn’t that helpful–but nothing is perfect.
And I was a kid.
So after much contemplation, I have decided to save my $20 for the rest of the things I don’t need from Target and sleep in my sweatshirt and pants. It seems much easier to justify this outfit than a onesie when I do the Sunday morning walk of shame to throw out the cat litter.
I’m hoping to start a new trend.
Spill it. Would you purchase the one-piece footie pajamas? Remember, Christmas is coming!