Introducing ‘Veginem’

I enjoy vegan food. I enjoy Eminem. It seemed like a natural combination, so I present to you my debut as “Veginem.”

(This will only make sense if you’re familiar with his hit, “Lose Yourself,” so please read it with the same rhythm—minus a middle stanza—and do the gangsta lean, yo.)


LOSE YOURSELF (in plant-based food)

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity,

to seize every great food you ever wanted—one moment.

Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?

Yo.

My stomach is growling, knees weak, arms are heavy,

I could have a rice bowl or sandwich, maybe spaghetti.

(Sorry for the pictures. I’m not a food blogger.)

Eating plant-based isn’t hard and I am always ready,

to enjoy whatever foods people keep on forgetting.

You say “vegan,” the whole crowd objects so loud,

I open my mouth, and the words come right out,

It’s just food, people! Made without animals now.

Like grains, veggies and nuts. I can show you how!”

 pantryfood

Silk Almond Milk, Larabars, BumbleBars, Wild Garden hummus, Once Again Sunflower Seed Butter, Earthly Choice farro

 Snap back to reality, Oh there goes dairy,

Oh there goes eggs, I said,

I love food, and I won’t give that up.

People don’t know, and dismiss veggies in haste,

It don’t matter,  I know how good plant-based can taste.

Use websites and blogs, yo,

Nothing’s stagnant, you know.

wrapavo

When I go to start cooking, that’s when it’s

back to the store again, off to the grocery.

Better go capture those sales and hope it don’t pass me by, yo.

 

Hook [x2]

You better lose yourself in the plant foods, the great taste,

You own it, you better never let it go.

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to glow,

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.

 

No more games. I’ma change what you call taste,

Eat this motherfreaking salad gone and leave no waste.

salad2

I tried kale in the beginning, the mood all changed.

I chewed it up and spit it out and booed that leaf off stage.

But I’ve always loved spinach and every other green,

And grains and nuts and fruits, with other stuff in between.

All that taste inside amplified by the fact,

that I can get by, with my 5-9 servings.

sbbswich

 SunButter and banana sandwich on Ezekiel bread.

And I can consume the right foods that will please,

Cause man, there are meatless burgers with “cheese,”

and pizza tastes great, and legumes rule my plate, this is my life.

People say that’s it’s hard, but you have to reconcile,

If I can do it so can you, while

Never getting caught up between being a vegan and a prima donna

All the preachy drama screaming on and

I just never really wanna

frozenvegan

 Amy’s Kitchen, Daiya, Earth Balance, Ezekiel Bread

 Put you on the spot, but days of “Ugh, vegan food?”

Has gotten me to the point, I’m like “Hey dude,

You’ve got to formulate a plot and give plant-based a shot.

Better health is now your option, heart failure’s not.

Say for one meal a day, ‘this meat has got to go,’

Small changes add up to more than you know.”

So here you go it’s your shot,

food fail you not, this is the only body that you got.

 

  Hook [x2]

You better lose yourself in the plant foods, the great taste,

You own it, you better never let it go.

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to glow,

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.

 

Like the blog? Buy the NEW 5-star rated book!

P.S. I respect everyone’s choices. This post is supposed to be fun. Play nice.

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39 responses to “Introducing ‘Veginem’

  1. Ha! Love it. I eat meat, but I love veggies. Thinking a nice ratatouille is in order.

  2. I fucking love you.

  3. Hilarious! The world needs more vegan raps. I’m glad you’re here!

  4. I am heading in the Vegan direction. I have given up meat, poultry and dairy. The hardest thing to give up was Cheese! But then I discovered nutritional yeast…yum. And check out these guys who are going to revolutionize the ‘cheese;
    industry .http://www.kite-hill.com/

    • I’ve never been in love with nutritional yeast like everyone else is, but it’s not that bad with most things. Daiya isn’t “real” but it helps when I do kind of want a good vegan cheese. I don’t miss it at all 🙂

  5. this made me tear up with pride, honestly. (the strangest things move me in that way).

    this is freaking EPIC.

    “do not miss your chance to glow” <– this. this is my favorite line, and how I will sing it from now on. I have this song on my favorites playlist, so I hear it often.

    do you just like the song, or also the movie 8 Mile? next up should be a veganized "I Live At Home In A Trailer…" 😀

  6. love this post!

  7. As a former vegan and recovering vegetarian I enjoyed this immensely! I only know two Eminem songs, so bonus points for using a song I actually know! 😉

  8. Ohhhh I’m so hungry now!!!! Well done!

  9. hahahahhaha love this post, good one!

  10. My husband is a big fan of Eminem and I’m going to rap this to him and ask which one he thinks is the better lyricist. My bet is on you 😉 LOL

  11. I love vegan food. I love Eminem. I love you.

    This post wins.

  12. Oh my god this is amazing.

  13. Freakin LOVE this.

  14. canigetanotherbottleofwhine

    You’re so funny. And CLEVER! I sent a link to this to my vegan friend. Hey, I got your book (AWESOME!) and the bars – can’t wait to try them. I’m going to ask my vegan friend if she’s had them. I’m gonna see her on Friday. And is there a recipe for that first plate because that looks yummy. I’ve tried to bring tofu in the house, but my husband is kind of anti-tofu – my 7yo LOVES it and gets it when we go out. I’m going to click on that button to see if it takes me to the recipe. 🙂

    • The recipe is literally just what you see there! I make a big batch of farro or rice to keep in the fridge and then just add in chickpeas and veggies. I just sautee everything in a pan, add in the Earth Balance vegan butter (and spices) and you’re golden! The soy-free chickpea “tofu” is 1/4 c. chickpea flour and 1/4 c. water put in a small pan on the stove. Turn the heat on very low and stir until you get a thick consistency. Dump it into a small-ish lined container, stick in the fridge for a bit and then cut it up and add it into the pan when you’re ready to eat! I can’t eat soy, so it’s a nice change. 🙂

  15. I love this so hard. Like, probably harder than I should, but dude, you pulled out all the stops. I love Eminem (and apparently all things vaguely related to Eminem beats and veggies). Kudos chica. You win the internet today.

  16. I love meat and veggies, but you made me want to eat that bowl at the top of this page (even with tofu in it…oh dear god, not tofu!) without hesitation.

    damn girl, you’re good 😉

  17. I love you. I think you’re my sister from another mister.

  18. love it ! so creative – love the photos – looks soo nice !

  19. Love it! I vote you actually rap it and record with your lyrics- I would totally buy it on itunes ha!

    • Oh good lord. Don’t hold your breath on that one, as I don’t even post pictures of myself. However, if anyone else wants to do it I only ask for a minor portion of the profits you’re sure to rake in 😉

  20. “I chewed it up and spit it out and booed that leaf off stage”…Ha! That poor kale never even had a chance! Love it!

  21. I did just like you asked. I sang, rapped, lip synched this entire thing, with a little bit of attitude, and I’m afraid Rabbit would have lost had you been there.
    This post – amazing.
    I also love Eminem, and this song is a regular on my work out playlist. I will never hear it quite the same again though.

  22. This is beyond brilliant. You need a Nobel Peace prize for this shiz, yo. And you are the only person every anywhere that actually even made me think vegan may be . . . gulp . . . ok. The power of music.

    Don’t tell Jen!

  23. Great post! I like your photos. I love Amy’s organics. I’m going to look for the chickpea flour ‘tofu.’ I didn’t know it existed. This blog is funny AND informative!

  24. This is great, I’m an Eminem loving carnivore who adores greenery

  25. I might try your chickpea flour “tofu”. All the food looks good. Too bad you don’t like kale.

  26. First post I ever read on your blog, and I already adore you

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