A True Daily Double

I love Jeopardy, but quite frankly, those people are freaks.

Teen Week is the one time of year that I feel pretty smart (well, save for the final championship in which I realize a high school junior just won a Jeopardy tournament while I was skipping class and debating the merits of flavored Lip Smackers during my junior year—but still on the Honor’s Society, mind you.)

Anyway, when I watch regular Jeopardy I get excited if I get at least one or two questions right each round. Half of the time I don’t even know what the question is asking.

How these people know about countries with a population of three people, two endangered unicorns and several species of rare flora or lines from books written in 1875 is beyond me.

Give me categories that involve food, sports or some type of crafty wordplay and I can occasionally run a category. Once in awhile something from high school science or college French will pop into my head and I’ll get a question right.

I will then proceed to celebrate and miss hearing the next three questions/answers.

If by some divine intervention I am able to correctly answer the Final Jeopardy question, I pretty much start filling out applications for Mensa before I realize it’s a lot of work and instead go get a snack.

My point is that these people are quite amazing. Even the weirdos that completely blank out and end up getting their name wrong still had to qualify to make it on the show. That is much more than I will ever (desire to) do, so props to them. But I do have a suggestion for the contestants:

Work on the interview portion a bit, eh?

Those 30 seconds of awkward “social” interaction with Alex usually cancel out any envy I had for their mental acuity. That might sound harsh, but that time should not be spent sharing that you have an extensive collection of Beanie Babies or that you once found a potato chip that looked like Jesus skiing.

If you have time to memorize the temperature of every star in the solar system, you have time to plan this part out a little better. Maybe run the idea by your friends and family if only to spare them from fast-forwarding through this part at the watch party you will throw yourself when the show airs.

You’re smart. At least make something up or throw in a “Suck it, Trebek.”

Just make sure not to ask for a vowel.

What is, “Like the blog? Buy the book.”

I grew up watching game shows  like Scrabble, Classic Concentration, Press Your Luck, etc. with my grandma. While there are many shows I would go on, I think I would still like to go for Big Bucks, No Whammies.

And you? What game show would you go on?

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23 responses to “A True Daily Double

  1. I haven’t watched in a while, but Teen Week always made me both hopeful for the future of the country because the kids are wicked smart and fearful for the country because they’re all so muhc like me….socially awkward. I like it when there’s a wisecracking teen full of himself and Alex takes it personal. That’s the best.

  2. You. Are. Hilarious. Fuck *swear jar* Trebek.

  3. We have similar “back patting” strategies when it comes to Jeopardy. I don’t watch it much anymore, but I remember that if I’d get a question or two right, especially if I voiced the answer aloud and someone was around to hear it, I’d feel rather delighted with myself.

    I was on a couple of game shows a long time ago – “Street Smarts” and “Sex Wars.” I don’t remember what I said in my “small talk portion.” I’m hoping it was unrelated to potato chips or religious figures with a penchant for sports, but I’m not making any promises.

  4. I have my dreams of clearing the bank on Wheel… you know this, everyone knows this. Jason, on the other hand, regularly knows the answers to Jeopardy, All The Time. It’s fascinating, really, and he would not have any awkward moments either – he is somehow highly intelligent AND possesses a personality with a firm grasp on social skills. His parents and community did right by that boy, for sure (he was visiting the high school for classes while still in middle, and living in an apartment during the summers as a very young teen, so he could compete in the Drum Corps International…)

    oops, I totally didn’t mean to turn this into a Jason Fest. He would be mortified.

    …I feel absolutely invincible whenever I get an answer on Jeopardy, or even a few at a time. I also love Teen Week, because sometimes I can sweep a whole category! and you’re right, Alex IS getting bolder. I am just waiting for him to crack and start screaming expletives…

  5. I do fairly well on Jeopardy and on Who wants to be a Millionaire, but I suspect that when you are on tv, in front of a live audience, it’s not that easy!

  6. I would totally go on “Family Feud”. With someone else’s family, of course…

  7. For me, Teen Jeopardy is like Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture…Finally, I can answer some of the questions!

  8. I used to love Concentration when I was a kid. I even got my mom to buy me the home game. These days, I’m with you — Wheel of Fortune. Oh! Oh! Wait! What’s that one where you spin the dial. I love spinning the dial. Or was that spinning the bottle? I’m so confused.

  9. In an ideal world, I would go back in time to the days when Bob Barker was hosting The Price is Right. I would go to the show with like, 10 other people, all wearing matching T-shirts, and we would all be enthusiastic, but I would scream my head off louder than anyone, make it to contestant’s row, make it to the stage by bidding $1, kiss Bob Barker, win Plinko, spin the wheel and land on $1, and win both showcases. This is my greatest dream in life and I’m so sad it’s never going to happen. I guess it could happen with Drew Carey, but it won’t be the same. Tragic.

    • I agree 100 percent. I grew up with “The Price is Right” with my grandma and my goal in life was to dominate Plinko. I like Drew for other things, but I can’t really deal with him as TPIR host. Bob Barker for life!

  10. Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes (my apologies to the comedian I forget): The difference between Jeopardy and Wheel contestants. Jeopardy bios: “Bob is an astrophysicist who enjoys botany and working on a cure for cancer…” Wheel: “Bob is fascinated by bright shiny objects…”

  11. My parents always watch Jeopardy and Brandon and I now do too. But when he (VERY RARELY) wins, it’s enough to make me want to punch him. And I totally text like 5 people when I get Final right. The world needs to know how smart we are.

  12. My daughter used to love to visit her grandparents who watched Jeopardy every day. THey would all sit in there and shout out answers. It was great. I could got out on the porch and have a few minutes of peace and quiet to read.
    Hmm…now that idea of retirement funds and Wheel of Fortune – might offer more hope than anything else right now. Must give that a spin.

  13. Congrats on the SkinnyScoop top 25! Love ya.

  14. I can Name That Tune in three notes….
    Am I the only one that remembers that show??

  15. My parents used to watch Jeopardy. God, I loved Teen Week. I would CLEAN UP. My dad would be practically hyperventilating insisting I was a genius or psychic or both. I didn’t have any awkward Mathlete stories to share though, so there was no point in trying to get on the show.

  16. Did you see the Jeopardy! last week where the guy told a story about his childhood bed wetting issues? That one was truly spectacular.

  17. Abby, you always make me laugh out loud.

    “If by some divine intervention I am able to correctly answer the Final Jeopardy question, I pretty much start filling out applications for Mensa before I realize it’s a lot of work and instead go get a snack.”

    HA!!

    “What game show would you go on?”

    MATCH GAME PM!

    Of course I would have to turn back the hands of time about 4 decades.

  18. I love Wheel of Fortune, so that would be my choice. A close friend of mine was on The Price is Right and won a car, treadmill, Wizard of Oz doll set and a tandem bicycle!

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