I’m still in Houston but thought I would drop in a minute so that when I get home Monday night I can pretend this whole trip never happened and go back to blogging about normal neurosis.
Because the day before I left I thought I was getting a cold, but it turned out to be some version of the flu. This whole trip I’ve been dealing with a migraine, runny nose, cough that rivals an emphysemic geriatric and feeling as if I’ve been body-slammed by an elephant. Add in airline travel, long days and general crap and fun times are abounding!
Anyway, my whining is over. Probably.
As an apology I will share a few insights and pictures, simply because I don’t have the mental capacity to actually do anything more than that and I’m doped up on DayQuil.
If the fate of the world depended on me figuring out how to collapse the ironing board in my hotel room, we would all be doomed. No matter how I flip it around and hit it with random things—nothing.
However, when life hands you lemons, stick them in your shirt to make it look like you actually have boobs. Or just use the ironing board as a table for some of your junk, which is exactly what I’ve been doing.
Even though I bring my hotel flip-flops, I will still request extra towels to use as “yellow brick road” of sorts from the shower to my socks in the other room.
After stuffing 350 sponsor goody bags with products at the House of Blues for the event we put on for 800 people, one might just become delirious and try on leftover fishnets, Smurf hats and blinking glow-in-the-dark glasses.
There is nothing scarier than dragging your sick ass into the bathroom in the middle of the night and coming face to face with yourself in the magnifying mirror.
I’m pretty sure a majority of travel days are spent waiting for the automated sink/soap/paper towel dispensers to work.
Despite looking like death, a lot of people walking around the show recognize me from my picture each month in the magazine. Hearing them tell me they enjoy the publication I put together each month is always satisfying.
At least I think that’s what they said. Again, maybe it was a hallucination.
On a positive note, I took a few minutes to sit on a park bench outside the convention center and no one threw money at me under the assumption that I was a homeless person. I consider that a win!
Anyway, this post is lame and I’m sure you’re thinking, “But that looks like fun!” At this point I will remind you that I missed the fun because I was sick and just want my own bed, shower and food.
Crap. I guess I wasn’t done whining quite yet.
At any rate, the next time I post I’ll be home and I promise something better than this. Probably. For now, another picture of the world’s happiest animal, as promised.
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Humor me. What’s been your worst traveling experience?