Dear People of the Interwebs,
You never fail to amaze me. Between some of the brilliant blog posts that urge me to think in new ways, the comics that make me laugh and the sports scores that keep me updated, I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.
However, I have to point out that most of you are weirdos. Well, at least those of you who found my blog through a variety of confounding search terms, with only a small set of examples below.
So People of the Interwebs, thank you for providing me with not only a chuckle at the fact someone landed here by searching “elderly squirrels with no verbal filter,” but also for making me feel like my issues pale in comparison to whoever searched for “busier than a cucumber in a women’s prison.”
Word Search, Vol. 3
- Got bored, searched boobs (*editor’s note: sorry for the disappointment
- I’m a girl and willing to do anything for Detroit Tiger tickets
- Mariah Carey in yellow latex
- I don’t need to kick your ass life will do that for me
- I would exercise but it makes me spill my drink
- Squirrels in Polish babushkas
- Has anyone ever written a letter from the kitten tooth fairy?
- Naked yoga for elderly people
- Squirrel with tits after my nuts
- I don’t usually fart in public but when I do I lean to the left
- The internet stops me from being productive
- Squirrel getting a speeding ticket
- Hold your head high and your middle finger higher
- I’m starting group meetings at my house for OCD cats
- The count’s sesame street toga party
- A gopher mixed with Steven Tyler
- Victoria’s Secret panty bunch on a fat dog
- Julia Child/Martha Stewart fight club (*editor’s note: Yes, please)
- Trippy squirrels do Crossfit nude
And lest you think they’re all a bit off, there was this one:
“Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.”
Now that’s one I need to remember.
Well, that along with “how to be a bossy bitch.” The first one, I’m still working on. The second one, I’ve got covered.
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