I realize the contents of a post filled with things I don’t quite understand could rival “Twilight” in terms of page count and opportunity for multiple sequels.
However, there have been a few specific things lately that have been brought to my attention—by me—that I want to just throw out there. Either you will explain them to me, or I will continue to make you feel extremely normal in comparison.
Here are some things I currently don’t understand:
- Certain words that look like they should rhyme, like “wager” and “lager” or “mouth” and “youth.”
- When people feel the need to explain why they were away from the computer for one day. Really? You need to explain that?
- Brunch. While I understand the concept—it’s not complicated—why would you want to forgo being able to have two meals by combining them into one instead? I take any opportunity I can for a meal, so I don’t get it. I just know white people talk about it a lot.
- People who constantly refer to days other than Friday as “Today is my Friday!” No, it’s your Wednesday (or any day other than Friday.) Just because you have the day off does not mean Friday is moving up in the week.
- On that note, why are people so enamored with Fridays? Yes, I enjoy them, as it means I usually don’t have to go to work the next day. However, I still have to go to work on Friday and I’m usually beat down by the end of the week. In my book, Saturday > Friday. TGIS!
- Why I can’t knit a little sweater for my computer so that it stops freezing at inopportune moments, which would be any moment.
- The obsession with CrossFit and how these fitness fads come and go so quickly the bandwagon should be cited for speeding.
- People who think they have to make a dessert from scratch every time in order for it “to count.” They make box mixes for a reason people, as even though homemade is preferred, it’s not always practical.
A brownie mix, cupcake pans, a cutout cardboard heart and you have yourself a fun little dessert to take along.
- How Twitter selects the “Similar to you” suggestions on the side. Sometimes I glance over there and seriously question the direction my life is headed if I am similar to some of those people. Then again, I also feel bad for whoever’s sidebar I show up in, so I suppose it’s a push.
- Why the second I turn off the water in the shower, every single brilliant idea I have ever had escapes down the drain with the water.
- Bloggers who talk about monetized page views, SEO, blog earnings, etc. For all I understand, they might as well be talking in, well, html code.
- Sticking with the blogging thing a minute, I don’t understand why so many people expect every blogger to actually be a good writer. Good writers can be bloggers, but not all bloggers can be good writers. Once you drop that expectation and enjoy it for whatever it is—Ooh! Pretty pictures!—it’s much more enjoyable. If it’s not, you can move on.
- Laugh tracks on TV shows. We have come a long way in terms of entertainment and innovation, yet they still think a forced laugh track in the background of a sitcom is necessary in order to cue us to laugh.
- Why I can pluck out every freaking eyebrow on my face except the one eyebrow that I actually want to pluck. Yes, I need eyebrow wax.
There are a couple more, but as I was writing this I realized they needed a post of their own. Unlike my enthusiasm, apparently my confusion knows no bounds.
I don’t get it.
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So, what don’t you get?