I know most of you are busy doing holiday things and not reading blog posts from yours truly. (I won’t take it personally, unless I should. Should I? Excuse me while I go obsess about this.)
But I thought I would amuse myself by presenting to you a poem with a little help from the incomparable Uncle June.
A Gnome Noel
But Uncle June wanted his say.
So now we present to you our little poem,
To celebrate on Christmas Day.
He’s had quite a year and has seen some new things,
from New York to Detroit he did go,
And who could forget the night just last month
at the theater to see a show.
There was mystery surrounding a fountain or two,
And the big gnome was left off the hook.
Uncle June told me they’re all in the clear,
As gnomes always live by the book.
Speaking of books he did make his debut,
And is waiting for agents to call.
I tried hard to tell him the point of the book,
Wasn’t fame, but was giving to all.
But still he assumes that the one page he’s on,
Will guarantee fame and some riches.
I found Post-its around with his chicken scratch notes,
About book tours and agent pitches.
He’s kind of confused but I think he’s okay,
And told me to tell all of you.
The support that he’s witnessed has blown him away,
(He’s small, but that’s still hard to do.)
But as for this week and the holidays now,
He’s spreading the “spirits” ‘round town.
Eggnog and cocktails and things filled with rum,
There’s really no drink he’ll turn down.
Myself, I’ve laid low and just hung out a bit,
But the same can’t be said for the gnome.
Last night he was passed out right under the tree,
This is what I found when I got home.
Then later I found him all dressed up again,
with mistletoe stuck to his head.
And I still have no clue how he managed to climb,
Up the tree without winding up dead.
Between book things and travel and blog cameos,
He appears to be getting quite haughty.
Perhaps he’s just sowing some more wild oats,
Or the holidays bring out the naughty.
What I think it is is the presence of elves,
The other small guys in December.
They make all the toys and they get all the credit,
While old Uncle June’s not remembered.
So instead of enjoying the holiday season,
The family, the food and the lights.
My little gnome friend is apparently bitter,
And drinking away silent nights.
But with all that said he still sends you his love
And I don’t think that’s just the rum talking.
For when he’s not drinking or pimping “his” book,
He also spends time cyber stalking.
Blogs and The Facebook and Twitter sometimes,
He feels grateful to know all of you.
And hopes that your Christmas was filled up with joy,
Or at least a strong cocktail or two.
As for me, I’m not drinking, but wish you the same,
And look forward to times up ahead.
I feel like there’s so many things left to share,
And many words left to be said.
Hopefully Santa has brought me a muse
And some focus to get those posts done.
But now I’m just dealing with one drunken gnome
who apparently loves everyone.
So no matter the way that your holiday’s spent,
I hope that you enjoy your day.
And know one drunken gnome and a rambling blogger
send heartfelt good wishes your way.
Like the blog? Buy the book.