If you weren’t around for the first Word Search post, you missed out on the fact that people evidently find my blog by searching phrases like “Bedazzled yoga pants with garlic” and “Your lizard looks a little limp,” among other things.
This was so fun last time that I think I need to make it a monthly event, mostly just because it makes me giggle, and sometimes I just want to use the word “giggle.”
Plus, I need to lighten things up after my last post, and what better way to do that than to share the fact that people found my blog by searching “cleaning the kitchen floor naked with squirrels?”
This is what you get when you Google “naked squirrels,” in case you were wondering, which I’m sure you weren’t.
Sorry to disappoint whoever that was, but given my OCD and the fact that they have sharp little toe nails, no squirrels will set one little furry rodent foot inside my kitchen. They can watch the naked cleaning through the dining room window just like everybody else.
So without further ado, here is this month’s batch of WTF search terms:
- Groping girls in yoga pants
- Pictures of elderly people in wheelchairs having a sock hop at nursing facility
- Popcorn you make in your pants
- Grandma smokes weed every day and tells me it’s not addictive
- The broccoli meant a lot to the starfish
- It’s a smartass Abby thing (Editor’s note: touché)
- Ho ho ho seriously she works that mistletoe like a pro
- How to plate pencil asparagus in fine dining
- Nude gnomes digestive system
- The Lexus December to remember we’re poor and miserable
- Most comfortable underwear for wedgie prone women
- I bet your screen doesn’t have a cookie on it
- Bitch, I know you ate the last piece of chicken (Editor’s note: this one came up four times. Again, I do not eat meat. Let it go and simmer down.)
- Your ass won’t run itself off
- Elderly thong bingo
- You better hurry up and start being awesome because I’m not waiting for you
And finally, this last one is going to become my motto for life:
I’m not only putting on my big girl panties, I’m putting on my bitch bra and my shit kicker boots.
Like the blog? Put on your big girl (or guy) panties and