Yes, I’m nosy

I had another rather opinionated post that I was working on, but it was interrupted by some hemorrhaging from my head, so you get this instead. It’s probably a good thing that I wait to publish the other one, as I should edit a bit.

At any rate, back to head hemorrhaging.

Along with being kind of large, my nose is prone to bleeding in the winter months when the air is dry. No, I don’t pick my nose and cause it to bleed as so many people remark. But rather the simple act of inhaling and exhaling—rather necessary, I might add — or the occasional nose blowing can cause a nosebleed.

It’s not a big deal at all, other than being an inconvenience, which it totally was last night when I got one while shoveling my driveway with the ferocity of a manic gnat with roid rage. My quest to remove the frozen slush was interrupted by what I thought was the typical “noseous runneous” so common when outside at night in the winter.

Red snow is a bit scarier than yellow snow. Don’t eat either of them.

So I found myself inside, lying on my back in the bathroom staring at my ceiling, tending to what I prefer to call an overuse injury. While I was studying the shower curtain liner, it occurred to me that I’ve never talked about my nose on here. Considering it was basically begging for attention at that moment in time, I figured I might as well.

The thing is, I’ve never really had traditional body image issues. I know that sounds weird coming from someone “with issues,” but if you’ve known me for more than five minutes, you know the deal. Much like bloody noses, we won’t clot up the space with that info once again.

But I have always had a part of my body that I was very self-conscious of—not my legs, not my stomach, but my nose.

See, it’s kind of big and had a bump in the middle of it.

ah

Ever since it matured, I’ve despised it and wondered why I couldn’t get matching bumps a bit lower instead. I would cover my nose up in pictures to see what I would look like with a “normal” nose, started researching rhinoplasty when I was nine and too smart for my own good and went out of my way to make sure my profile was minimally photographed.

My mom always told me I was nuts, but there were a few kids that validated this insecurity for me (the nose, not the mental instability.) Middle school was the worst. I admit I didn’t help myself with bad perms and questionable fashion choices, but that awkward phase is made even more awkward when your insecurity is literally staring you in the face—and if you’re a loud sneezer.

High school was better and I kind of grew used to it. I actually got a body to distract from the schnoz and developed a personality that slowly found validation in things I did and not in how I looked from the side.

But it was — and still is — one of my biggest body image issues.

The irony is that the thinner I get, the sharper and more prominent my facial features become. I look better when my face fills out, and not just because of the nose thing, so if nothing else you would think appealing to the attention whore in me would speed up this process.

You would think.

Anyway, as my nose matured, so did I. The nose I have is the same nose that my grandpa had, my mom has and a majority of my aunts, uncles and cousins have. Along with kielbasa, chrusciki, a love of baseball and politically incorrect humor, carrying on this Polish protuberance is sort of like a family seal.

Do I love it? Heck no, but I do love my family (with a few exceptions.) When I started to look at the profile of my nose instead of my nose in profile, my obsession over it slowly went away. Plus, it’s kind of important for that whole breathing thing. Barring a few nosebleeds, it does it’s job well.

But if offered would I get a nose job today?

Nope, and not just because I’m cheap. But grandma didn’t pass along her ample boobs, so those puppies are up for grabs.

Figuratively, of course.

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12 responses to “Yes, I’m nosy

  1. I actually have a very similar nose!! It’s very “English” if you will, bump and all. I’ve gotten used to it but my husband also has a larger than normal schnoz and I’m a bit apprehensive what our kids will end up with.

  2. I’ve always had a hang-up about my nose, too. Mine isn’t very angular, but there is a bump in it. My mother has tried to convince me it doesn’t exist, but she is anything but an objective observer. Especially because it’s her damn nose, although I did *not* get her damn enviable breasts. Heredity can be mean.

    Great point about how being thinner often (always) is not that conducive to maximum beauty. Everything in our society tells us otherwise, but in reality people are most attractive when they’re most healthy…

    Sorry about the nosebleed, hope you’re feeling better!

  3. One of my biggest insecurities has been my nose, since puberty! I don’t have a bump, but it’s what I call “bulbous”, which is in my opinion, far worse. Haha! I’ve spent many embarrassing hours in front of my camera taking snap shots trying to find my best “angle” to hide how big an unattractive it is, but that was long ago. I’d never get surgery done, for one thing I haven’t the money, and two, I think I’d feel weird about having to explain it to people afterwards. Cause you know they’d notice! So I can and will live with it for the rest of my life. Their are far more important things to think about than my schnoz!

  4. Are you sure your not a hidden jew under there? I went to a college with very few jews and when I told them I was jewish, they asking me why my nose was so small…..ugh yea not sure if that was a compliment…..
    Anyhow, I love your nose. I love my nose too. I think I hate many parts of my body though, but the one thing I for sure love is my nose. I don’t know who’s nose I got because I think my mom’s wasn’t tiny and my dad’s isn’t either. I also like my eyelashes. In the blue moon where I wear my mascara, they look unreal. I’m like betty boop minus the oversized head and stick legs.

    Anyhow, I think if you had a different nose it would look a little weird. You strut that nose (well, in the only way one could “strut” a nose)!

    PS, I used to get nosebleeds ALL the time! especially when I started eating! I dont know why, but its stopped in this past year…..I have no clue why!

  5. I’m not just saying this, but your nose doesn’t look disproportionate to the rest of your face at all. “You are your own worst critic.” I try to remember that when I start hating on some of my ‘parts.’ Seriously though, you are a pretty girl and I’m glad you are starting to accept yourself. Life is so short you know. I’m trying to learn to say F*&^ it more. It feels good when I do.

    I think middle school is probably one of the most evil and cruelest places for a kid to go. My son is in 5th and I’m terrified about him going next year. Kids are MEAN, CRUEL, EVIL, you name it. He’s just going to have to tough it out like we all did. Maybe he won’t have to go through too much , who knows. I was really skinny all through school and people said I looked anorexic, but I’ve always been thin–fast metabolism I guess. Go figure I have eating issues today…

  6. I LOVE your nose. And that second photo is the my fave photo of you ever (except perhaps the calendar photos- those are a tie). You read about (and see) so many people tweaking their noses with surgery and oftentimes it ends up looking weird and un-natural. I think it’s great that you’ve embraced your schnoz, but I was a bit worried about the bloody part.

    I am not often in cold weather but when I am, my nose is like an open spigot!!

  7. I dislike nosebleeds 😦 I get them quite often too.. and I always get kind of scared that the bleeding just isn’t going to stop. It’s never not stopped before so I don’t know why it worries me, but whatever.

    Coincidentally, I used to have a nose issue as well 😛 My nose is kind of flat… more like an Asian nose. It used to really bother me, so much so that I would wish it away. I don’t really know what changed, but I’ve totally accepted it now. I wouldn’t trade my flattened nose for the world 😛
    …. I’m glad you are able to find some positive aspects of your own nose though. If it makes you feel any better, I think you are absolutely stunning 🙂

  8. my nose is bigger than everyone else’s in my family. I used to hate it, but then I went to college, and everyone assumed I was jewish. There was nothing I wanted more than to be jewish. So now I love my nose.

    ps: the line about don’t eat the snow made me lol for real

  9. Overuse injury! Hilarious!

  10. Too funny. I hate my nose too. Love the self-confidence that comes through here.

    Visiting from TRDC.

  11. Noses have always been a subject of conjecture and angst for many folks. I love your inclusion of photos scattered through the words (you have a great face and a terrific nose). I’m glad you have come to embrace it. You use wonderful word pictures – yellow and red snow (I’m still snickling), overuse injury, and I can see you sprawled on your bathroom floor waiting for the bleeding to stop and looking around at other things on which to comment. Priceless. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Dear Abby, if it makes you feel any better, my nose looks like an upturned VW Beetle. Why else would I have a Muppet stand in for my head shot? She’s cute, no? 🙂

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