Tag Archives: hippie

The secret’s out-I pose with produce

This isn’t a big deal to anyone but me, but I actually posted a link to my last post on Facebook. Why is that weird? Because I hadn’t shared my blog with anyone in “real” life—even my mom.

Good lord, the woman took pictures of me dressed as a hippie and posing with asparagus and avocados in my living room without even asking me what the heck it was for. I told her in general terms, but haven’t showed her the finished product because my blog was on there.

Cover

There were a couple reasons I kept the blog to myself for the most part, one of them selfishly being that I kind of liked having some place to go where I could vent without pissing off anyone that I had to face the next day after they read too much into something.

Another reason was that as much as I embrace myself in all my “issued” glory, I guess there’s a small part of me that’s still not OK with sharing where I’ve been or am trying to go. That’s ridiculous, as what makes me who I am is where I’ve been and how I’ve used it to strengthen my character. I am and always will be a work in progress.

However, the fact is that I hate the labels and don’t want anyone to think anything less of me for reading about my issues. I feel like a label and the fact I’m so thin is an external reflection of a weak internal state, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

In other words, that self-consciousness is also ridiculous.

But lets be honest. It’s hard to admit that you have vulnerabilities and struggles, especially to those you interact with on a daily basis. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from the blogging community the past year, it’s that the best relationships come from complete honesty and vulnerability. These people know all my crap and like me anyway. Those are the only kind of people I would like to have in my life on a personal level.

So while I’m not vain enough to think that any of my Facebook friends/family will take an interest in my occasional ramblings, for me, it’s kind of nice to just put my issues out there and be honest.

It’s not that I was ever dishonest about anything, but this breaks down one of the many walls in my fortress force field of fickleness.

Anyway, if they choose, I want people to know me as I am and not how I think I should be. So if you’re new here, I indexed some of the highlights according to category one afternoon when I was bored. Whenever I get the urge, I write about food. I write about random observances. I write about serious things and then might follow it up by writing about cleaning the house naked .

Because despite my various degrees of awesomeness, I do have issues—we all do. But there is also a hell of a lot more to me than that and sometimes I have really cool stuff to say.

And, well, I pose with produce.

abby_thumb

We will return to our regularly unscheduled ramblings in the next post. You’ve been warned.

Home Sweet Home

Well, I’m home.

Let’s just say that all in all, there were more negatives than positives—and I don’t just mean food related. No one wants to hear me complain about everything or detail every morsel of food that passed through my lips, so I will spare you that. There are a couple things I want to address, but not today. Plus, most of my pictures are on my work camera, so that might come later.

Anyway, here’s the high/low lights:

I was without e-mail—personal and professional—the whole time, as the hotel had a firewall that no one could explain to me. This shouldn’t be a big deal, but it was. While I hate being so connected all the time, I at least like the option. I hated knowing that I had e-mails waiting for me that I couldn’t read and respond to, and it really put a huge kink in the whole “work” thing, needless to say.

The first day there I lost my favorite zip-up hooded sweatshirt walking back from lunch (I think). This seriously bummed me out, as a) I wear it all the time and b) it was my “jacket” while I was down there.

Oy.

However, on that first day I also entered my hotel room to find this thoughtful thank-you basket from one of our clients and the host of the convention.

pioneer

Nuts, chocolates and wine—after the first 24 hours there, I was ready to take on the bottle myself, but I refrained.

More on the food stuff later, but I did OK. I had to mix in some of my own things I brought with buying quite a bit, needless to say. There were times I finally had the damn fruit when I normally would have had veggies (breakfast, for example) and did it with no problem (this is a weird hang-up of mine).

bananaBut then there were times I know that I tried to compensate in other meals/snacks, ignored urges or hunger/craving cues and played it entirely too safe. Like I said, I’ll get into this later.

So still on the first day, I had the breakfast above at the “mall” the hotel was connected to and took advantage of healthy food court options until the weekend, when all the restaurants were closed. Boo to that. There was a ‘60s theme party that night, so I took a picture of myself in the hotel mirror for proof.

hippie(Dork, yes, but I travel alone and do what I can.) 

And while that was fun and a highlight, I only lasted until 8pm when all the sudden I felt extremely queasy, ran back to my room and was halfway into my pj’s when I started dry heaving into the hotel toilet. WTF? Was it the food?  A migraine? Exhaustion? This was proceeded by a killer headache and a sleepless night of nausea and annoyance.

Lovely. No, that sucked.

However, the day I soldiered on and came back to my room to find this welcome package from another company.

hotelbskt Wine, fruit, crackers, funky chocolate creations and the tools for manipulation.

hotel2While I don’t do much fruit when I’m home, when I do, I make sure I buy organic—especially when it comes to berries. However, the next morning I added those juicy buggers into my breakfast—taking advantage of something different (and free)—and lived to tell the tale. 

The rest of the trip was up and down, including the fact that when I went to e-register and get my boarding pass for Sunday’s flight, I found out I had made my reservations for MAY 18 and not APRIL 18.

Hysteria ensued, but the wine remained in tact.

Long story (and frantic conversation with the airline) short, it cost my company quite a bit of money to change my ticket (as in, quite a bit of money) but I got home today and I still have a job. My boss was actually really cool about it, but I think that’s mostly because he’s spent the last week in Vegas for “work” and can’t be that hypocritical. I don’t care why, but he was very cool.

Eventually I was too, but I felt like a total douche. The first time I picked my itinerary, it was for the correct dates. I had to wait for approval, and once I got it, I went back and secured my reservation. I suppose I hit the “May” map instead of “April” and never noticed the error.

If I haven’t mentioned it, I feel like a huge douche.

My mom, while sympathetic, replied with, “I’m not surprised. You always have a lot on your mind and don’t always focus that great.” This was cushioned by the fact that “shit happens” and I’m only human, etc., but she had a point. I didn’t tell her that, but she had a point.

I’m good at my job and can tie my shoes, but I miss so many details with so many basic things, in general. Why? Either my mind is somewhere else—guess where—or my mind is just blank and I don’t think about things. There are times that I feel like I’m an eight year old in mentality, with basic things puzzling me to no end. Then there are times I know I think too deep and philosophically, exploring the emotional and not so much the cognitive.

But it all comes back to being distracted and never really present, never really focused. This time it was an expensive mistake financially, but it has proven to be an expensive mistake in so many other ways in the past. No doubt that it will continue to be an expensive mistake in the future if stuff doesn’t change.

Anyway, that’s a quick recap. I will talk a bit more about things in the coming days, but for now it’s the rest of the hockey game, baseball game and some laundry.

It’s good to be home!

Were you able to challenge yourself at all this weekend?

or

Any special plans this week that you’re looking forward to (or dreading)?