Tag Archives: guest post

Meghan of “Clean Eats, Fast Feets” Has Issues

Today is the last Friday in my Blogger Issues series, and before I present today’s blogger, I want to thank everyone who has participated. This doesn’t mean I’ll never do these things again, but I’m going to take a break for a bit. Sorry, but you’re going to be stuck with only my rambles for at least the next few months.

But today I’m so excited to introduce you to one of my favorite food bloggers. You might not know this about me, but a majority of the blogs that I read are vegan/veggie/food/health related.

Go figure. 

However,  I also think that a lot of health blogs are full of crap and promote restrictive, fad lifestyles that are ridiculous and, well, full of crap. That’s why I enjoy Meghan, as she loves veggies but also loves cheese. She loves exercise but also loves rest. On top of all that, she’s funny, so you know that we get along well.

So without further ado, here she is!

Meg_&_the_Pretzel

That’s a pretzel. Carbs are my soul mate. 

Name: Meghan McCarthy

Blog: Clean Eats, Fast Feets

Give us a little bit of background about yourself in three sentences or less.

Yeah, about those three sentences…

Meghan is a number cruncher by day and a Blogging Ninjress by night. She lives in Cleveland, Ohio with her two felines and occasional Hubby. Her favorite activities include cooking, exercising, and farmers marketing. In her spare time, she enjoys making a mockery of sentence structure and twisting words and phrases to better meet her devilish needs and more closely align with her nefarious ways.

Meghan’s blog posts are virtual kitchen parties, music included, veggies always welcome. She’s been known to swear a holy crapton, and just recently saved the life of a budding young chipmunk. She’s a modern day Joan of Arc without the martyr part. Or the Saint part. Or the French part. Or perhaps the Joan of Arc part.      

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.

For the love of all that is good and holy, Snooze!

What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?

My inability to crack the space-time continuum. As much as I try to squeeze this research into my days, I always seem to run out of yep, you guessed it, time. I blame the snooze button. 

Three websites you visit every day.

AOL because I’m retro or as I prefer to be known, The Original Hipster. Facebook, where I’ll be the first to admit I have a problem, and Weather.Com because windows are so ’90s.

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?

I’m hypermobile, which means I can bend my body like a pretzel. I make Gumby look stiff.   

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

Inappropriate shenanigans make me happy. Therefore, I would deem all bananas should be consumed publicly. Bonus points for making and maintaining eye contact. 

You can only eat three foods for a week. What are they?

I’m a freaking food blogger. There’s no way I could limit myself to three foods for a week. Three types maybe: vegetables, cheese, fruit, potatoes, eggs…oh crap, I’ve blown it already.

The last thing you Googled? 

Swass, which Urban Dictionary defines as “a non gender-specific term used to describe the sweat found in and around a person’s ass crack.” You’re welcome. 

Given your blog name, I have to ask: What’s your favorite recipe post and your favorite fitness post and why?

Stuffed Artichoke Soup with Brown Rice & Asiago in part because it’s the bomb diggety, but really because I talk an awful lot about flatulence. To give you a little perspective, my opening sentence is “I ingest enough fiber on a weekly basis to keep a small horse in the bathroom for days.”   

 Vanilla Gorilla also known as the time my itty-bitty ass did a Tough Mudder. This post is the perfect combination of brute physical strength and raw mental determination, coupled with a side of story telling. I also inadvertently mooned the crowd, so there’s that.

What has been your most memorable recipe disaster?

Oh wow, where to begin, there’s been so many. I made homemade ravioli which resembled hockey pucks, zucchini fritters that tasted like blobs of flour, egg rolls that went right into the trash and brownies my brother’s dog wouldn’t touch, and he licks his own ass.  

(Editor’s note: She means the dog, not her brother. I think.)

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

You probably should have asked, “Why are you incapable of following instructions?” To which I would respond, “That’s a great question.”  

There you go! Whether you want to find a workout, a recipe, a laugh or a cute cat picture, I suggest you go visit her blog and Facebook page and show her some love.

Like the blog? Buy the books and cool things!

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P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

Darcy of “So Then Stories” Has Issues

I will assume you’ve all caught up on your movie watching and are ready to spend the rest of your time reading the blog of the second to last blogger to be a part of my Blogger Issues series–Darcy of So Then Stories.

You can read the specifics here, but basically she’s lived all over the world, was taught French with a Southern accent, has worked everywhere from Fortune 500 companies to small entrepreneurial firms and doesn’t use real names when she blogs. 

That’s a sign that she has some good stories. 

Darcy Perdu

Name:          Darcy Perdu

Blog:              So Then Stories 

Where and why do you write?

On my yacht, in the nude, of course.

OK, the real answers:

The Where:  I write in my home office, in between juggling outrageous demands from my clients, coworkers and kids.  (Does “home office” mean that I participate in conference calls while still in my pajamas, eating ice cream, checking Facebook, and occasionally chiming in with a well-placed “very synergistic!” and “that’ll really resonate with our key demo!”  Why, yes.  Yes, it does.)

The Why:  One of my favorite things to do is pull up a bar stool and swap hilarious stories with my friends about embarrassing kids, exasperating coworkers, vexing relationships and the ever-perplexing public.  Each story reminds someone of a SIMILAR funny tale, so the stories and laughs just keep rolling. I wanted to create a site where I could share my bodacious blunders and funny stories – then encourage readers to post their RELATED stories so we can all entertain each other.  So I started SoThenStories.com – and I LOVE reading the comments on the blog – those people crack me up DAILY.

 First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.

 Ryan Gosling, stop hogging the sheets! 

 Then I really wake up.  And have a moment of sadness ‘cuz I really miss that damn sheet-hogger.

What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?

It’s frustrating that my blogger buddies and I create such cool comedic/compelling content, virtually for free – for readers who enthusiastically follow our Facebook blog pages because they want to READ those posts – but Facebook only SHOWS our postings to a TINY percentage of our followers.  What the hell, Facebook?  So to all the awesome readers out there who enjoy blogs, please subscribe by email to the blogs – or mark “Get Notifications” on the Facebook pages of your favorite bloggers  so you can enjoy all the fabulous nonsense we post!   

Editor’s note: You know my feelings on this. Amen.

Three websites you visit every day.

German Dungeon Porn.  Swedish Dungeon Porn.  Cats Who Solve Mysteries. But when I’m on porn/cat overload, I visit Facebook, NetFlix, and lots of blog sites of funny bloggers, including Abby Has Issues.

Another note: I didn’t even pay her to say that (the porn part, not a mention of this blog.)

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?

Admittedly lacking in culinary prowess, I nonetheless once asked my daughter what her favorite dish is that I make.  She hemmed and hawed, stalled and stammered, then finally said, “Well, you open a mean can of corn.”

So I guess that’s a talent I probably wouldn’t mention on a resume:  Expert Corn Can Opener.

Me again: Unless that was the job you were applying for. There might be a market—you never know.

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

No bullies.  No wars, poverty, or illness.  No calories.  Ice cream for everybody!

 You can only eat three foods for a week. What are they?

1) Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk paired with Baskin-Robbins Pralines & Cream

2) PF Chang’s Mongolian Beef & Chang’s Spicy Chicken & Garlic Snap Peas

3) Maggiano’s Lobster Carbonara featuring angel hair pasta, lobster, smoked bacon, snap peas & garlic cream sauce

*Please note snap peas figure prominently in two of the three meals.  HEALTH FOOD FOR THE WIN!

 The last thing you Googled?  

“Comparative penis sizes of populations indigenous to New Guinea vs. Trinidad.” But that might be a little TMI, so let’s go with “decorative bath mats at BedBathandBeyond.com.”

 What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply? 

Can I please send you $10,000 in small bills and craft a macramé potholder in your likeness? 

Why yes, yes you may, Abby.  How perfectly delightful of you.   My kitchen colors are white and green so please plan accordingly. 

So there you have So Then Stories! (See what I did there?) Anyway, go check out her blog and her Facebook page after answering the question below because no one ever answers the question even though sharing is caring:

Who is the celebrity you would never kick out of bed for spilling crumbs or hogging the sheets?

 Like the blog? Buy the books and cool things!

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P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms Has Issues

You know how I love a good deal, so today you get two for the price of one in terms of bloggers spilling their issues! You also get the third to final interview in this series because I’m going to wrap this up at the end of the month and you’ll be stuck with just me again. 

But today—and the next two Fridays—you still get to indulge in a behind-the-scenes look at a blogger to keep on your radar. Well, two bloggers, but one blog. And a podcast, Sensible Moms Soundbites, described as “sensible parenting advice delivered with a light touch. We are your girlfriends on call, 24/7, for honest, funny chats about all of the things that matter to you.”

So without further ado, here they are!

Podcast_12_darkedges

Name: Ellen Williams and Erin Dymowski

Blog: Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

How did you two start blogging together? 

Ellen: Well, we met in prison. Or was it in the waiting room of our kids’ gymnastic class? It’s hard to remember because they both smell like feet. 

Erin: Anyway, one day, three years ago, we were talking on the phone and I said, “We should start a blog.” 

Ellen: And I replied, “What’s a blog?”

Erin: Fast forward three years and I said, “We should start a podcast.” 

Ellen: And I replied, “What’s a podcast?”

Erin: Apparently I’m the big ideas gal . .. 

Ellen: And I’m the one who only goes on the Internet when forced.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning. 

Ellen: I am a January resolutions cliche. My first thought is “I have to put my Fitbit Zip on so my steps to the bathroom are recorded.”

Erin: Apparently we are a cliche that shares the same brain. I think of my Fitbit too!

What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?

Erin: I forget to put on my Fitbit until half of my morning is gone! While my Fitbit is my first thought, it is immediately trampled by worries of college scholarship deadlines, lesson plans, and angst over wondering if my mismatched sock bag will ever be sorted.

Ellen: I have to listen to the caterwauling about the “missed” steps. And the sock bag of shame.

Three websites you visit every day.

Recited in unison because remember, we share the same brain: 
Blubrry Podcasting Plugin Help Site because *sigh*.
Fitbit and My Fitness Pal because if you’re going to be a cliche, go all the way.

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume? 

Erin: Breaking websites.

Ellen: Not killing people who break websites.

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

Erin: Why stop at ruling the land? I want to bend the laws of energy! No Calorie Double Fudge Mocha Whip Cheesecake for all!

Ellen: Did you just basically say “let them eat cake”? Anyway, I would decree that all tech help is free, instantaneous, and spoken in English, not tech-ese. Although it might be easier to decree that websites are not allowed to be broken. Actually, that law would only be for Erin.

You can only eat three foods for a week. What are they? 

Erin: A couple of weeks ago it would have been Sour Patch Kids, Diet Coke, and bread. Now it’s sadness, despair, and guilt.

Ellen: Mine are avocados, vegetable soup, and almond milk. Do I get extra credit on My Fitness Pal just for uttering that?

The last thing you Googled? 

Erin: “How to make organic, low calorie Sour Patch Kids from scratch using only the tears of doves.”

Ellen: “How to fix an RSS feed.” Because podcasting is all about the RSS feed. Or at least that’s what Erin’s sad doves told me.

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

Erin: “Can you get rich from podcasting?”

Ellen: “Why yes, yes you can!”

Erin: We felt like a fantasy question deserved a fantasy answer.

So there you have it! I’ve only listened to probably three podcasts in my whole life, but now I have the guilt of this post to go check theirs out and assume you all will go do the same—and check out their blog and Facebook page, of course. Oh! And humor me by answering this question: 

Your turn. If you could make any food completely calorie-free, what food would it be?

See you back here Sunday!

Like the blog? Buy the books and cool things!

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P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

Simon Holland Has Issues & a Giveaway!

To all of you who resolved to spend less time on the Internet for the New Year, I would like to welcome you back.

In honor of your return, this week I’m featuring a blogger that I actually “met” on Twitter a few months ago. He’s hilarious—yes, another guy on the blog!—and along with blogging, he’s a contributor to the very funny “The Big Book of Parenting Tweets” along with a bunch of other entertaining people (giveaway at the end of this post.)

But before you go check out the book, Simon Says read the post below and show him some love in a non-creepy, no-touchy way.

Simon

Name: Simon Holland

Blog: Sweetandweak.com

 Where, what and why do you write?

I usually write from my office at home and I like to write about things that I find funny, most of this tends to be observations of every day family life. I write to share something that I think will entertain someone. I’d like to be one of the people that has to write because their creativity is bursting at the seams and they need to let it loose, but for me it is more about wanting to tell a joke or a funny story and needing someone to listen and pretend that they think what I am saying has value. Ha Ha.

 First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.

Muttered profanity and the snooze button. Is there any other thought that real live people have when they wake up? I like to think I am more the rule than the exception on this one.

 What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?

Is there anything worse than gift bags? I mean seriously, there is a certain unabashed joy that you experience when you tear the wrapping paper off of a present to reveal your prize. Gift bags steal all of that. They ruin Christmas and they ruin birthdays. If anyone out there is thinking about giving me a present and putting it in a gift bag, just tape $3 to the gift. Trust me, I will appreciate that way more than a bag with some tissue paper in it.

Editor’s note: Yes, actually. I dated a guy once that actually had a wood box built to put my gift in and then screwed the whole damn thing shut. He is no longer around.

 Three websites you visit every day.

Twitter

Reddit

Would Netflix still be considered a website? If so, that is my answer. If not, probably a website about karate or lasers or sports cars or some other stuff that would make me seem less lame than I am.

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

Probably that days now last forever. This is kind of like wishing for more wishes, but let’s be honest.  One day is not enough time to rule the land. I would first make days last for the rest of time and then probably make someone bring me Skittles.

You can only eat three foods for a week. What are they?

Tacos. Tacos. Tacos

Don’t mess with perfection. Tacos are proof that there is a God that loves us.

 You’re pretty much a Twitter rock star. What are your three “best” tweets?

Wow, I don’t know if I can be the judge of what is best, but here are three that I don’t hate.

“My wife brought home low-sodium bacon and know I understand what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.”

 “I don’t know. Everything was going great and had been perfect for as long as I can remember. But then in 2012…”  -Gluten, talking to his therapist

“One time I listened to my wife tell a whole story without mentioning that I had a video game paused in the other room.”

 What would your life be in a tweet?

This probably sums it up pretty well: “Imagine having kids. Wrong. You don’t have time to imagine anymore.” 

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

I kind of wish you would have asked what I was wearing because I am wearing a hipster wolf T-shirt right now.

hipster wolf

YOUR TURN TO WIN FREE STUFF!

In honor of “The Big Book of Parenting Tweets,”   Simon has agreed to give away a copy of the book to a random person who lives in the United States and leaves a comment to the question below. The winner will be randomly chosen Monday night. 

What would your life be in a tweet? (140 characters or less)  

Like the blog? Buy the books and cool things!

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P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

Dana from “The Kitchen Witch” Has Issues

I know it’s the day after Christmas, but I’m going to assume you need something to distract you from your holiday hangover and that one relative that is still trying to perfectly unwrap a gift so that the paper doesn’t tear and can be reused again next year.

You know who you are.

Lucky for you, I have a fabulous blogger spilling her issues today! Yes, she’s funny. Yes, she can cook. But to be honest, I am always in awe when I read her “serious” writing—both on her blog, The Kitchen Witch, and on The Huffington Post. 

kitch

 Plus, this is her blog icon. Even though I don’t mind Rachael Ray,  I still love it. 

I don’t say this often, but I have admired her writing for years and read every damn thing she writes. The way she can command language and weave so much emotion and detail into her words is nothing short of pure talent.

(And no, she didn’t pay me to say that, although at this point I’m not above bribes.)

But enough with the mushy crap. Let’s bring on The Kitchen Witch!

 Dana

Name: Dana Talusani

Blog: The Kitchen Witch

Where, what and why do you write? 

I write on my laptop, which is on the kitchen table. It’s a totally stupid place to write because writing in the kitchen guarantees constant interruption and demands for snacks. And that’s just the dog! I write about food sometimes, but I also write about my crazy family, my many neuroses, and stories from my childhood. And my dog.

I don’t really know why I write. Probably because I’m a narcissist in constant need of attention and validation.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.  

“Okay, when I look in the mirror this morning, what’s it gonna be? Am I going to look like a 40-something woman or a 90-year old hooker? If I look anything like how I feel, it’s gonna be the hooker.”

What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now? 

What is it with the shocking nose hair growth that happens when you turn 40? I’m serious! For 40 years, I went through life blissfully unaware of nose hair, and now I can’t get away from the suckers. They’ve gone renegade! I had to invest in industrial strength clippers, which was kind of a humiliating purchase.

Three websites you visit every day. 

Facebook, MSN and Serious Eats. I have a bit of a Serious Eats addiction.

Editor’s note: As do I, or I did before they changed their site and focus. Now it’s pretty hit or miss for me, to be honest. Moving on…

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume? 

I am the owner of the world’s ugliest feet. I’ve broken my toes so many times that they’re twisted and misshapen like a fresh ginger root.

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce? 

National Cheeto Day. Everyone would get National Cheeto Day off from work so they could stay home, eat Cheetos in their pajamas and binge-watch “Sherlock” on Netflix.

You can only eat three foods for a week. What are they? 

Burgers, Nachos and BLT’s. The last one is so I don’t die of scurvy.

Me again: No Cheetos? 

The last thing you Googled? 

This is kind of sad. It was “what’s the best no-boil lasagna noodle?”  I am the kind of girl who considers herself entirely too busy to boil a lasagna noodle.

Another note: My mom has always used oven ready lasagna noodles and she made the best lasagna in the world, so no shame on your game, my friend. 

It’s the holidays–best and worst gift you’ve been given? 

The best was last year’s Christmas present–my Bichon Frise puppy, Mozzy. I never, ever thought I’d be a dog person, but now all I want to do is hang around on the floor and make out with my dog all day long. He’s delicious.

The worst was the year my mother bought my older daughter (then 3) the Singing Yo Gabba Gabba Guitar for Christmas. That toy is an abomination. I still have not forgiven my mother, and that was 10 years ago.

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

I wish you’d asked me to make us cocktails. Day drinking! Yeah!

Thank you, Dana! Everyone else, go do yourself a favor and go check out her blog,  follow her on Twitter and thank me later (see above: not above bribes and commissions at this point in time.)

And of course, I hope you had a great holiday. If you have any funny stories to share, feel free to vent in the comments below!

Like the blog? Buy the books and cool things!

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P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5  percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

Kathryn from “Foxy Wine Pocket” Has Issues & a Giveaway!

Here’s what you need to know about today’s blogger spilling her issues—she has two kids, drinks, swears (those things might be related), and writes about suburban life in a way that is anything but crass for all you pearl-clutchers out there. Instead it’s funny and relatable and makes you want to hang out if it meant you didn’t have to put on real pants or makeup.

Oh, and also that she’s giving away something at the end of this post!

So without further ado, I present to you Ms. Foxy Wine Pocket, herself.

foxy1

Name: Kathryn Leehane, but I love it when people call me “Foxy”

Blog: Foxy Wine Pocket 

Where, what and why do you write?

Where: I write in my breakfast room. (“Breakfast room” sounds way more fancy than it really is; it’s a tiny nook off of my kitchen. I also call my teeny-tiny backyard a “courtyard” for the very same reason—fancy.) Anyhow, I like hanging out in that room because I can see all of the comings and goings in front of my house and in the neighborhood. I’m nosey like that.

What: I write (sometimes irreverent and inappropriate) humor on my blog and anywhere else people let me spew my nonsense. I also write non-humor essays, and I’m currently writing my first book.

Why: Because people got tired of listening to me in-person. Even my dog is done with me.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.

 “Do I really need to shower this morning or can I sleep a little longer?”

Three websites you visit every day.

Other than my standard social media trifecta (Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest), I like to visit The Oatmeal, The Onion, Cracked. I really love to laugh.

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?

I can do this with my lips: 

foxy2

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

Free coffee in the morning. Mandatory mid-day naps. Free wine at night

You can only eat three foods for a week. What are they?

Cured meats, olive bread, and cheese

The last thing you Googled?

“Can you drink alcohol after a colonoscopy” (The answer is you really shouldn’t.)

It’s the holidays–best and worst gift you’ve been given?

Best: A collection of John Hughes movies from my husband.

Worst: A gift card to a men’s clothing store from my mother-in-law. In her defense, she got her stores mixed up (but she did walk into the actual store to buy it).

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

Question: What’s the most ridiculous fight you and your spouse have ever had?

Answer: About eighteen years ago, my husband ate my sandwich.

*pauses for effect*

HE ATE MY F-ING SANDWICH, and an epic argument ensued. We’ve had our fair share of spats and arguments, but The Great Sandwich Tragedy of 1997 is one that has really stuck with me throughout the years. So, naturally, I wrote all about it in a book, “Clash of the Couples.”

Editor’s note: There’s no need to pause for effect. I am as protective of my food as a rabid mother badger, so I feel you 100 percent on that one.

And I have to say that I have read that story in “Clash of the Couples” and was cringing throughout the whole thing because FOOD and also because it was hilarious and relatable. That’s why I’m so happy to say WE’RE GIVING AWAY A COPY OF THE BOOK!!!

*Jumps around like Oprah, waving her arms all around most likely knocking a lamp off the table*

It’s described as a “hits-close-to-home anthology featuring a collection of completely absurd lovers’ squabbles and relationship spats. Think couples fight over kids, sex, and money? Think again! Furniture and the last beer are what genuinely ignite our feuds. And no argument is off limits. This book has it all!” 

This giveaway will be open to anyone in the United States who has a sense of humor and leaves a comment on the question below. For extra good karma, go check out her blog and Facebook page. I will randomly choose a winner Monday night. Good luck, and thank you Foxy!

What’s the most ridiculous thing you and your spouse/partner (former or current) have ever fought about?

 Need a holiday gift? Buy the books and cool things!

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P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

Alyson of “The Shitastrophy” Has Issues

The name of the blog of today’s blogger spilling her issues should serve as a warning that if mild profanity upsets you, you should slowly back away for today.

(Waits a few seconds for the nuns and toddlers who most certainly read my blog to leave…)

With that said, she’s the shit. No, literally. That’s part of the name of her blog–The Shitastropy–a place she writes about her family, her life and the moments in time that leave her thinking “You can’t make this shit up.”

But another thing she writes about is mental illness, a subject you know that I know a few things about (unfortunately.) However, I’m so excited for her—and jealous, but whatever—because she is working on an anthology, “Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor,” that will be available March 2015.

They’ve compiled 38 poignant and hysterical pieces “to show people that they are not alone. Our hope is to mimic the real life ups and downs of mental illness and let others know that they will laugh again, that there is hope and that as bleak as moments are, there are options.” In addition, each author has selected a charity to support and highlight in their area.

 And that, my friends, is the shit.

alyson

Name:  Alyson, but I typically go by Jillian’s or Jake’s mom to the younger crowd

Blog:    The Shitastrophy

Where, what and why do you write?

Where: In my utopia—my office. This year I waited until my husband went away on a two-week trip (I’m no fool; better to ask for forgiveness than permission) and I had our office completely redone. New floors, painted all the dark woodwork white, new paint on the walls. Everything. It is now my Zen, and it has doors – that I keep shut. It sure as hell beats my old office, which was the kitchen table.

What: I mostly do sarcastic adult humor. I have no problem dropping in a rogue f-bomb if the situation calls for it. Sometimes there is no better word.

Why: Well, if I didn’t I would lose my damn mind. It is very therapeutic for me to let out all these crazy weird thoughts. I swear I am a walking Seinfeld episode.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning.

How much longer can I sleep before I really really have to get up? Two minutes? I’ll take it.

What’s the one “issue” or frustration annoying you the most right now?

I have numerous unfinished projects around my house that I am paying someone to complete and yet the person is missing in action all.the.time.

Three websites you visit every day.

I’m giving you categories because I am an overachiever:

  1. The big three of social media: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest.
  2. The big three of news: CNN, Huffington Post, Bloomberg
  3. The big three of humor: Buzzfeed, College Humor, The Onion

What’s an unusual talent and/or accomplishment you could never put on a resume?

Actually I am very skilled at making resumes and often tapped by friends to make theirs. I have yet to design one that didn’t get the person the job they wanted. Oh, and I am really good at organizing. I can look at shit and figure out where to put it like a game of Jenga. You would never know this looking at my house, because, well…kids.

(Editor’s note to self: Send Alyson resume for position of someone who gets paid to blog and taste-test hummus in yoga pants from my couch.)

Favorite place to be?

The ocean. I grew up at the Jersey Shore. I love the sound of the waves, the sea gulls (as long as they don’t sh*t on me – which happened once) and putting my feet in the warm sand.

If you could rule the land for one day, what laws would you create and enforce?

I would say any asshat that gets in the right-hand lane and doesn’t turn right should lose their license. Also, I feel very strongly that the speed limit on all four-lane roads should be 45 MPH. I am also going with the law that people who hurt kids should go to jail forever – no chance for parole.

What TV show would you want to appear on?

Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Given the holiday season, what are your favorite and least favorite Thanksgiving foods?

I actually hate, as in despise, turkey. This causes an issue on a day dedicated to turkey. When I was younger there were always pasta options because my mom’s side (who we spent the holiday with) are Italian. Now my in-laws host Thanksgiving, but they have a honey baked ham that I love. As for my favorite, well my husband’s Aunt Diane’s pumpkin bars are phenomenal and I eat like 4 or 5 and take some to go every year.

What superficial thing are you most thankful for?

My car. It’s not fancy, it’s a minivan, but if I had to walk places I would totally hate it. I will search a parking lot for 20 minutes to get a primo spot right up front. Sure, I realize I could have parked in the back nine and walked in five times by then, but it’s the thrill of the quest and the fact that I’m lazy.

What question do you wish I had asked you and what would be your reply?

Favorite thing – sleep followed up closely by coffee and beer.

So there you have it. Go check her out and see you back here next post!

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