When people hear I’m an editor, the first thing they often assume is that I’m the grammar police.
I am not.
However, I do love language and a little part of my soul dies every time I see it abused. And unfortunately, that happens every time I go on the Internet and am inundated with strings of acronyms and hashtags instead of actual sentences.
Now let’s get something straight.
I like Twitter. I like texting in small doses. I like Facebook updates that don’t involve a laundry list of your accomplishments, ailments or actual laundry list. But to each their own, I get it.
What I don’t get is how it’s now acceptable to stop actually using full words and stringing them together in these things that we call “sentences” to complete thoughts and instead abbreviating them to an acronym or hashtag.
Instead of writing something excitedly, people now lazily throw in #excited. They go with #missingyou instead of writing “I miss you.” And instead of adding a caption to the photo of their completely ordinary breakfast, you get 12 hashtags that make absolutely no sense and just look ridiculous–#breakfast #eggporn #toast #breakthefast #truth #food #idontevenknowwhatimdoinganymore #hashbrowns
Really? It’s come to that?
I’ve heard the excuse that it’s faster, but if you type “UR” instead of “you’re” and then add extra “Os” to indicate “UR SOOO happy it’s Friday,” I think that you’re blowing your cover—or that you don’t know which “you’re” you should use.
That combination hashtag/acronym above is my attempt at a segue into texting/online abbreviations, such as the ever-popular “LOL” that most often serves as a convenient way to end a boring electronic conversation.
Half the time these things make no sense — no one is literally rolling on the floor laughing their ass off (ROFLMAO), and if they are, they had best log off and seek immediate medical attention — and the other half of the time I have no idea what they mean because THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY WORDS.
So because I’m annoyed and am looking to change my world in some way—the rest of the world is up to you guys—I have proposed some more practical meanings to common acronyms that make more sense to me.
ROFLMAO: Ready? Okay. First Let’s Make Acronyms Original
WTF: Where’s The Food?
STFU: Scanning Twitter for Unfollowers
GI: Google It
IRL: I’m Relaxing. Leave.
RMBI: Read My Blog Instead
OMG: Overused Minced Garlic
BFF: Boobs Falling Flat
CRGOYDF: Conversation Required. Get Off Your Damn Phone
TTYL: Tea Trumps Your Latte
SMH: Swiffering My House
NIWYM: No Idea What You Mean
IMHO: I’m Making Hummus, Okay?
FML: Feeling Mighty Lazy
FWIW: Frequent Whining. I’m Writing.
ASAP: Attention! Send Abby Pesto
LOL: Laundry. Overflowing Laundry
BRB: Busy Reading Books
YJMTUYW: You Just Made That Up You Weirdo
FTW: F*@$ This Winter
Like the blog? Buy the books!
Any suggestions you would add to the list?