Your Life Lessons

I meant it last post when I said that if I’ve learned anything, it’s that you people are funnier, smarter and saner than me.

Another thing I’ve learned is that most people don’t come back to read the comments, and considering everyone should know to never try to brush a cat’s teeth—thank you for that one, Dana—I’ve compiled another list of life lessons as added by you guys on that Life Lessons post.

Enjoy (and check out their blogs if I linked to them.)

Your Life Lessons

Robyn: Never underestimate a young child’s enthusiasm for discussing bodily function in public. Also, never assume that the doctor will knock before coming in the room when you’re putting on your paper gown – change fast.

Fishducky: Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s almost ALL small stuff!

Crazy As Normal: 1) Double check the smart-ass reply you are sending via email is really going to just your friend and not “Reply All.” 2) You should always check and make sure you locked the door in a public restroom. 3) If you forget how many days are in a month, you can count on your knuckles.

Heather: From the wrapper of the Dove milk chocolate square I just ate while reading this post: “It’s ok to slow down”.

Basia: 1) Write love letters, and not just to a guy. To your friends, parents, old English teachers, yourself. 2) Never watch Criminal Minds when you’re home alone at night. 3) Pet a dog. Seriously, it’s 99 percent of the reason I still haven’t been locked up in the loony bin.

Estelle: No one is getting any younger and life’s end result is the same for all of us.

Hazlnutt: 1) Always use spell check and 2) It doesn’t matter if you are right.

Jacquie: Two permutations on a theme — Live and let live and don’t judge others lest you want to be judged by them. I know both are old, but there does seem at least to me for there to be some merit in them.

Alex: I’m just going to quote Kurt Vonnegut who is like, WAY wiser than me and who said, “God damnit, you’ve got to be kind.” I try to be, mostly, except for when I’m not. Still…good advice.

Counting Ducks: “The wisest man is often the one who moves the least.” Unless he’s sleeping or too fat, in which case the saying doesn’t work.

Gia: You can make delicious brownies. Just read the directions first. Measuring cups are your friends.

Liz: There is no advance without adversity.

Kim: 1) Swans hate children very much, and will attack them. 2) If you laugh at your brother getting attacked by a swan, you will get grounded. 3) It is much easier to judge someone and hate them, than listen to them and love them.

Jen: Don’t grab a goat by his horns. Also, never wear black hose with white shoes. It’s just bad.

Katie: 1) When you think something is a bad idea, it probably is. 2) Don’t be afraid to let go of a toxic friend just because you have known them for a long time. 3) Oh, and don’t expect to have a clean house when you have kids…it WILL not happen and you will just be disappointed.

Rach: There is power in looking silly and not caring that you do.

Phil: You got a brain, use it. Go outside and play – at least 10 minutes a day – no matter the weather (although if it’s flooding/ blizzard you might want to adjust that a bit?)

Theresa: You have to fall down to grow up.

Alison: I before E except after C or when sounded as A as in neighbor and weigh. Plus some other exceptions that they don’t have rhymes for.

Paige: If the Tupperware has been sitting in the back of the fridge for more than six months, cut your losses and throw it out. What waits inside is worse than most nightmares.

Carrie: Treating others how they’d like to be treated sometimes goes over way better than treating others as you’d like to be treated.

Julia: All you really HAVE to do is breathe—everything else is optional.

Eva: If the package says four servings, it probably means two.


I love you people.

The end.

Like the blog? Buy the book.

P.S. Feel free to add more to the list.

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15 responses to “Your Life Lessons

  1. “life does give you more than you can handle – never be ashamed to ask for help” this is the lesson I am learning right presently, trying to learn anyway.

    I just went back and read your previous post (a tad behind around here, heh) and LOVE it. all of it, every bit. teeth are jewels not tools? LOVE it. making peace with your past so you do not screw up the present?? SO many people I know need to do this. and everything here that your wise readers said? LOVE!

    my favorite saying, that I TRY to live by as often as I can – Whatever You Focus On Gets Bigger. <3

  2. Love it! I still have a scar from that feline dental hygiene experiment. Bah!

  3. These are great – wise and hilarious. Thanks for sharing them (and mine)! :)

  4. Thanks for sharing my idiocy shrouded in what seems to be wisdom….:)

  5. We love you too ::group hug:: (thanks and stuff – i love riding awesome people’s coattails!) ;)

  6. Really nice chuckle and sense of community you got out of this idea Abbey. Lovely stuff

  7. Thanks for sharing the comments, because you’re right….I didn’t go back to read them.

  8. I’m going to take the one about eating Dove chocolate to heart, for sure.

  9. OOOOH, how I loved this. Mostly because it’s bright and sunny and HOPEFUL, for the most part.
    Life is hard and messy and will hurt you badly sometimes, but it’s WORTH the ride. Always, worth the ride.

    xox

  10. Backatcha, wait, you didn’t mention me..screw ya.

    Seriously, you’ve taught me how to appreciate the positive things in my life even thought my nature doesn’t allow it sometimes. Also, your baseball fandom and hilarious personality make my day on the twitter/facebooks.

    Go Braves

  11. If the shoe fits, its ugly.

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