Shower Power

Here’s the deal.

While I like my cat enough and everything, I’m not one to spoil her and treat her like the child I’ll never have. I don’t do clingy, and (she lets me think) we have an agreement regarding our boundaries.

Monie can do whatever she wants except jump up on things (not an issue, as she’s not really athletic,) sleep in my bed or hang out in the bathroom while I’m in there.

I’m don’t need her staring up at me while I’m on the toilet or getting into the shower, silently judging me with her eyes. I figure I don’t camp out outside her shit box, so she shouldn’t camp out outside mine.

Then again, she does bathe in random rooms around the house, so I suppose our boundaries are a bit blurred.

All of this is to say that her new “favorite” place to camp out is directly in front of the register in the bathroom—the one located between the toilet and the counter and directly across from the shower.

moniebathroom2

She had never shown any interest in the bathroom before and I didn’t realize this was a new “thing” until I was in there and heard her little bell as I stepped out of the shower. I shooed her out and didn’t think much of it until later that week when I pulled back the shower curtain and found the furry little beast sitting in the middle of the tub.

A more pleasant surprise than a spider, for sure, but still not entirely welcome.

Anyway, I’m letting her have her own little space next to the heater when the bathroom isn’t in use, simply because a) I choose to believe she likes the warmth and isn’t some kind of a pervert and b) it keeps her out of my hair when I need to do important things like eat or Swiffer.

And while I refuse to allow an audience for normal toilet things, I am thinking she might be able to serve a purpose for those times I’m in the shower.

You see, it’s been my experience that showers are a great place to spend 9 minutes thinking about all of your problems and 1 minute actually showering. If she wants to hang out while I’m reading the back of the shampoo bottles out loud in the multiple languages—“Shampoo/shampooing” “cranberry oil/huile de canneberge” —she might as well make herself useful.

If she can complete either of these tasks on a regular basis, she can stay:

1) Along with thinking about all of my problems, I also compose great literary works while showering. I think it’s something about the steam releasing all the creative things from my brain or something. Look it up. It’s probably a thing.

I will dictate these brilliant thoughts out loud for Monie to transcribe so my thoughts aren’t sucked down the drain with the suds. I know it doesn’t sound possible, but SOMEONE’S been adding “catnip” to the grocery list and it hasn’t been me. Let’s put those skills to good use.

2) Michigan is cold in the winter, and most days I could stay in the hot shower until my skin resembles a sunburned prune. This is not good for either my skin or the water bill, so if Monie can somehow reach her little paw in and shut off the water when a timer goes off, that would be most helpful.

Oh, and warming up my towel in the dryer would be a nice touch.

All in all, I think my proposal is fair. If she doesn’t want to comply, she can scoot her furry feet out of the bathroom when I’m there—as long as she stays off my bed.

We have boundaries, after all.

Like the blog? Buy the book.

About these ads

31 responses to “Shower Power

  1. I love this. One of my cats feels the need to dart into the bathroom ahead of me and sit there staring while everything is going on. Monie is lovely, and I hope she appreciates the French lessons.

  2. I don’t want to be a debby downer or anything, but how old is your cat? From experience, I can tell you that when cats become seniors, a lot of them have thyroid problems and one of the first symptoms/clues is that they seek out warmth everywhere because they just can’t regulate their own body heat anymore. so….your darling child might be feeling just a bit poorly and is not just a voyeur. Just sayin…

    • You are totally not Debby Downer, as she is an older cat and I appreciate your concern. She has a recent clean bill of health, so I’m not too worried. I huddle in front of the heater every day as well ;)

  3. Haha! Your cat is awesome, I mean, you are awesome, I mean, I love this post… anyways I have two cat’s so I get it. They both accompany my to the bathroom and turn their friendly side while I do my stuff – come on! I can’t poop and pet them at the same time…
    And I apologize for this first nonsense-less comment of your cool blog! Love it!

  4. It’s the freaking weather! My cat loves the outdoor about 95% of the time, but now that it is way cold and snowy, she become an indoor stalker. She’s in face in bed at night. She’s climbing over fragile objects. She’s suddenly a pain!! She’s using her litter box, which she never does. It’s the darned weather!

  5. I have one dog who HAS to be in the bathroom when I shower. I figure she’s worried I’m going to leave via the secret escape hatch in my bathroom. I let her stay as my trusty guard dog though… to avoid any potential Psycho-esque-shower-scenes.

  6. I loved this post. We have had cats in the past and I adored them until I found out that my constant sinus infections were brought on by my allergy to them! Kitty used to sleep with her head on my shoulder while I was sleeping!

    • Oh, that’s such a bummer. I’m allergic to her spit, oddly enough, so “no lickey” is a common phrase (calmly and rationally) shouted quite often.

  7. Oh, this brought back fond memories of my dear cat, Morris. He was the best cat. And he, too, had a fondness for the heat register in the bathroom. I hadn’t thought about that in years! Thanks for the giggle. :-)

  8. I don’t think I could handle a stare down from a cat while naked. They’re just so damn superior looking all the time.

  9. Sounds perfectly fair to me! Of course my cat never listens to anything I say, fair or not.

  10. I had a dog that would get in the bathtub and lick the drain for as long as he was allowed, what’s up with animals and tubs? I’m sure your kitty is just in there for the warm air and not checking out your muffin top ;) Great post, I always love your stories.

  11. Aw your cat is super cute! My cat has no bathroom boundaries. When I shower she sits on the toilet lid or sink and starts meowing and pawing the curtain if I don’t come out quickly enough after turning off the water. I wish I knew what her deal was, but she cracks me up enough to earn her keep so I let it go.

  12. SQUEEE SHE’S SO CUTE!!!! I totally lost focus after the photo because AWWWWW. She can stay where ever she wants!

  13. I rarely close the door to the bathroom (bc we’re classy up in this place) and I have had two dogs AND a cat in the bathroom with me more times than I can count. They know they have my (essentially) undivided attention so they take advantage.

    Related: I have boundary issues?

  14. Our cat, Aria, follows the men in the household into the bathroom to stare at them while they shower, but has no interest in me. Should I be offended?

  15. Cats are such funny creatures. I do miss my cat that I recently had to put down. He wasn’t much for hanging out in the bathroom but he did love sleeping on the heating vents. His thing was stealing my hair bands and then putting them into his food bowl. I’m still finding some of them in the oddest places.

  16. As I write, my cat, AKA The Most Entitled Cat In The World, is lying in my bed, stretched out and glaring at me in the most superior manner, like I’m a critttin’ who has just crawled out from under a stone.

    In an hour or so, she will demand food, probably when I’ve just got into the bath. She will sit by the bathtub and paw at me until I get out.

    Which, of course, I will, because she is the most The Most Entitled Cat In The World

    Boundary issues?

    YES.

  17. I agree with you. There are boundaries but they are not always recognised. I never forget going into my study and finding one of the chickens sitting on the back of my chair and looking at the computer screen. I invited her to leave and find her own reading material

    • You have chickens?!? My mom would be so jealous. She was just telling me yesterday that she wants chickens and goats in her house. This will not happen, obviously, but you two would get along great.

  18. If she’s one of those magic cats that can dial 911 then you are completely in luck if she sees you fall in the shower.

  19. Just spent a weekend in Ottawa with a family who has a dog and two cats. In the mornings, the cats would wait outside the bathroom door while I showered. I almost tripped over them the first time (then watched as they freaked out LO when he exited and didn’t expexpect them there – worst. wife. ever) If you can figure out how to get a cat to heat up your towel, I’m getting one!

  20. “You see, it’s been my experience that showers are a great place to spend 9 minutes thinking about all of your problems and 1 minute actually showering.”

    OMG. Yes. HA!

    Also, I love Monie.

Talk to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s