Tripping Out

As I’ve said before, I’m not a big fan of traveling. In fact, the only time I’ve traveled the past 10 years it has been for work; never for a vacation. Expenses aside, I like my routines and any disruption annoys me.

With that said, I have to travel for work a few times a year and Saturday I will be leaving for New York until Wednesday.


I always want to get the Cash Cab, but then I realize that unless the questions revolve around food, sports or things that go on in my house, I’m kind of screwed.

Before you get all, “Oh my gosh! New York is wonderful and you’ll have a great time!” on me, let me refer you back 10 seconds to “I have to travel for work.” It’s work—like 13-hour days full of work—and there is little to no time for myself. No shows, no great culinary adventures, no acting like an idiot in an effort to get on the Today Show.

I’ve been to New York—for work—and it’s lovely, but that’s not the point.

The point is that I am trying to ration out my recently delivered magazine issues for something to read on the plane. It’s not going so well.

But my other point is that I go through the same mental marathon each time I have to travel. While most of it revolves around finding vegetables to shove in my mouth and dealing with other people dictating my (meal and sleep) schedule without saying something that will get me fired, most of it is angst at an importance level comparable to accidentally swallowing a bug.

Not fun, but not detrimental.


Unless this is the bug. How creepy are those commercials?

Anyway, things that the news people tell me I should worry about aside—terrorism, plane crashes, getting felt up by a TSA agent—these are the things that run through my mind:

  • Damn. I will miss at least three of the 162 baseball games that the Tigers play each season, along with a handful of hockey games. At least three games!
  • The new weekly grocery ad will come out on Sunday and I won’t be able to rush out that day and buy things I’m convinced they will run out of by mid-week (crazy exotic things like chickpeas, broccoli and butter.)
  • I will read about local events  happening this weekend and be disappointed that  I won’t be able to attend, even though I wouldn’t have attended them anyway. (I would most likely be watching one of those 162 baseball games.)
  • The local weatherman will piss me off, as I will not be here to experience whatever weather it is that he is so enthusiastically predicting. (By the way, rain is predicted in New York every day of my trip. Of course it is.)
  • Even though I basically eat the same things every day, I will miss the delightfulness of eating the same things every day instead of searching for semi-healthy things in NY like a squirrel seeks a nut. (No asparagus? The madness continues…)
  • If I’m not able to blog for a few days, all 12 of my readers will give up on me and vow never to return again to my aesthetically disabled little corner of the Interwebs.
  • I won’t be able to sit in my pajamas on the couch with no makeup on and watch “Fashion Police” while eating an organic pesto pizza (The irony of that situation is not lost on me.)

Plus, everything I do before I leave will inevitably be classified as “the last time” I do something before I leave and given great importance.

I have to eat up that last banana “before I leave” because, sigh, I won’t be here for four days to consume it. I have to take the dog for one last walk “before I leave” because, sigh, I won’t be here for four days to do it.

You get the idea.

But I’ll be home before I know it, right back to not attending social functions, eating my usual foods and doing yoga in my underwear.

I bet you all can’t wait for future rants, but just curb your enthusiasm (that’s what we call a segue so you can enjoy one of my favorite scenes.)

I love Larry.

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32 responses to “Tripping Out

  1. As someone who also has OCD (like actually treated for it, not like “wah, I’m so OCD about this or that”), I totally feel your distaste of traveling. My father LOVES to travel and has often professed a willingness to pay for me to travel anywhere, whenever I choose (especially if it includes going to visit him in FL), but I just don’t like it. I like being able to stick to my routines and rituals. Travel does not equal relaxation for me, no matter the destination, it is simply stressful and anxiety provoking.

    All that said, maybe it helps to travel for work where you are kept busy for most of the day and can just go through the motions so that you’ll be home before you know it? Plus, when you travel we get to hear awesome stories about your gnome, which is highly entertaining.

    Stay safe,
    Nicole G

    • Agreed. I’m one of those that was actually clinically diagnosed with OCD–I don’t just like to make sure the oven is off or something–so I can completely relate to your comment. People don’t get that it’s a “real” thing and not just a quirky personality trait or an excuse to be a pain. Travel is anxiety for me, not relaxation. But with that said, exposure is important and thankfully, temporary.

      Plus, Uncle June went to NY with me a couple years ago, so he’s looking forward to doing something blogworthy this time around ;)

  2. This was funny! I am feeling your stress. That banana alone would send me over the edge.

  3. If you get to go on Cash Cab without me I will be so pissed!

  4. I don’t like even leaving the house, so traveling is not high on the List ‘O Fun for me. I also lose my mind when forced to break from my routines.

  5. I followed you from Jen’s blog = )
    I used to love traveling, but then I moved to Japan, and for the exception of going somewhere in the Pacific Rim travel is 18 plus hours, two days of jet lag….

  6. As I tell my students in chair pose…it won’t last forever. Just like that banana. So you better eat it.

    Look on the bright side. If you end up reading all your magazines, at least the grocery flyer will be waiting for you when you get home, even if it is outdated by then.

    Safe travels Abby! As one of your twelve, I will miss you. :)

  7. I understand the routine part, but I always, always LOVE traveling.

    Every time before you travel, you post on how much you hate traveling, and I’m always scratching my head because there is nothing I love more, even if it IS for work, I still love getting on that plane, breathing in a different air, knowing that I’m in someplace different.

    I still hope you enjoy yourself though! Maybe you can somehow snag a trip to TJs…;-)

  8. I love Larry too, even if I have to watch him through my hands as I have to cover my whole face to watch the train wreck that he is/the train wreck that I love.

    My story with travel has changed over time. I love travel and my husband and I fell in love over our love for travel. To this day, our entire lifestyle revolves around travel and if I told you that I was out of our city or country for about 20% of the year it wouldn’t be an exaggeration. I LOVE experiencing new places and I love transportation in general: trains, buses (I know I’m crazy), boats, etc- my hubby and I LOVE to just go on public transportation for the fun of it.

    My recent problem is that I invariably gain weight because I also love to try regional food and loosen up the diet when I’m away. Then it leads to me feeling like crap b/c my clothes are tight, and then I have to get back to being more stringent when I get home til I can fit comfortably in my clothes again.

    I feel for you, having your time not be your own. I wish you could just forget JFK and go to PSP instead :-)

    • I think I would actually enjoy traveling if money wasn’t an issue and it wasn’t always work-related. This sounds lame, but I know I wouldn’t have an issues with going somewhere if I knew I was in relative control of my meals, time, etc. In fact, I’m pretty sure I would enjoy the break from my reality and a chance to explore new places. Someday I will land in PSP and live it up…;)

      • Good point- ya know that Derek and I try to stay at self-cater places as much as possible (ie they have a kitchen)…then I get to do my smoothies in the AM and we can switch it up cooking relatively healthy in, or eating out- as we like. Not to mention the money it saves just staying at places like this, AND saving on would-be restaurant bills. I still gain weight, but I’d shudder to think of the amount I’d gain if we didn’t do this!

        • Ha! Gaining weight is never my fear. It’s being at the mercy of others for my meals and not even having a fridge for water bottles. I realize that sounds lame as hell, but it’s like my own little “Survivor” trip. Good lord, I’m a weirdo ;)

  9. Let’s just be happy we don’t have to travel together because it would be a hot mess (yes that term is over-used but I couldn’t think of anything else). I am a spaz about my meals (don’t even get me started on time changes and my eating schedules), bathroom breaks (I believe you have the same problem as I remember?), and trying to be nice to coworkers even though I’m sleep deprived and on the verge of having stomach problems. This is usually the point the hotel bar comes into play.

    • Maybe we would balance each other out. If nothing else, we could commiserate about the intestinal effects of being forced to eat crap and deal with crap. Too bad the hotel bar visits can’t be expensed.

  10. I know you know what I think about traveling sans the routines from home. But who knows, maybe you will discover some cool new vegetable that tastes even better than broccoli? But you will never find this out until you test the waters. You’ve got nothing to loose (pun kind of intended).

    On another note. I went to NYC when I was 1o and I stood outside with all the other tourists at the Today Show and Al Roker came and talked to me on Camera. So if by chance you make it there, tell Al I say hi. We had a moment.

    Remember, email, text, (gasp) call if you need to. I can call for emergency asparagus.

  11. I’m a mess until I get through security at the airport. Then, I seem to be able to relax. Up until that point, it’s me running around trying to get everything in its place before I leave. I hate coming home to a dirty house and leaving things in disarray. The anxiety ramps up again as soon as I get back home until I resume my normal routine. We’ve got a lot of trips coming up. I think I need to start getting ready now.

    • Exactly. That’s me in a nutshell. Once I land at my destination and grab my luggage (so I know it hasn’t been lost,) I’m okay. Once I get home I’m a psycho until I (immediately) unpack, restock the fridge and hop in my own shower. Then it’s like nothing ever happened…

  12. I’ve only been to New York once and the only thing I remember is that I tried to buy a roasted chestnut from a street vendor in July and got laughed at. Not my fault since the paper sign read: “ROASTED CHESTNUTS!”

    Have fun on your trip! Try?

  13. I totally feel you about the anxieties and irritations that go along with traveling. I always try to tell myself that the routines and norms are always there waiting when you come back, being away for a few days won’t ultimately disrupt your lifestyle in the big picture. And you never know when you’ll have a random cool experience, even things that are complications or problems at the time make for great stories later.

    Your readers aren’t going anywhere! I’m really looking forward to hearing about your trip, good luck and I hope you have as good a time as possible!

  14. Anytime I fly, I hope I get felt up by a TSA agent but no go. I always seem to get the modest ones–boo! Hope you have a decent trip regardless, working 13 hr days anywhere is never fun.

    • Last time my bag got double checked because I had a hard-boiled egg in my carry on. Maybe I should stow it in my bra and see if I get action.

  15. Oh, my friend. I feel your angst. I have my routine. I like my routine. Do not make me go outside my routine. Evah! And flying? Fuggetaboutit.

  16. OMG! You are so lucky!
    Have fun in New York?
    Are you going to any Broadway shows?

    Ah….hheeeheee. Forgive me, Abby. I couldn’t help myself.
    Seriously, though, I feel your pain.
    Glad it isn’t any longer than it has to be.

  17. Hi Abby,
    (LOL) I’m a huge Larry David fan! Hope work ‘flies by’ fast!

  18. I think work travel is way different than vacation travel. My dad travels 1-2 times a week for work and he HATES it! However, he loves going on golf trips (hahaha) and “fun” vacations. I haven’t been on a “trip” for anything in years so I don’t have many experiences to add.

    I love the last thing on your list of concerns ; )

  19. You can get caught up reading a magazine article on the toilet and miss 162 baseball games.

  20. I had my first work travel experience the week before we went to Chicago. Even though we just went to Cleveland which is 2 hours away I was so anxious and freaked out. I was not a big fan of having a schedule that revolved around being “on” all freaking day long. Good thing it is only a once a year thing. I couldn’t handle it more than that. Good luck Abby!!

  21. If I’m not able to blog for a few days, all 12 of my readers will give up on me and vow never to return again to my aesthetically disabled little corner of the Interwebs.

    This made me giggle. 12 readers? Riiiiight!

    I actually really love traveling, but don’t love traveling for work. I remember my first time traveling for work. I felt so important and worldly. The enchantment lasted maybe 28 hours, after which I was ready to return home and never travel for work again.

    This obviously meant that my manager’s manager cornered me and said, “We need to get you down here more often!” In my brain, I screamed noooooooooooooooooo!. Outwardly, I smiled and said, “Wow, that would be really fabulous.”

    I’m coming on three years at a position with zero travel required and I love it. When I hop on a plane in two weeks? It’ll be to visit a much missed friend, who’ll finally get a chance to meet my little one!

    Hope everything goes smoothly and you barely notice the time passing before you’re back in the comfort of home again!

  22. I LOVE Cash Cab, but i think I’d do horrible if i ever actually got on the show!!

  23. I used to like traveling for fun, but I’ve always hated work travel and I’ve liked vacation travel less as I’ve gotten older and I guess more set in my ways. I actually lost 4 pounds in a week during my last real vacation, it was kind of awful…and sad b/c vacations are supposed to be fun. I get to be a little of a food hoarder on travel too- I have to know where the nearest grocery or convenience stores are, I guess I worry that I might starve to death because I’m away from home? So many issues!

    • Agreed. Most people worry about gaining weight on vacation, but when I go on “trips” (not vacations, mind you), the opposite usually happens. It’s not that I restrict or anything, but the diet change and lack of “normal” options and grocery stores for me don’t always add up. Add on walking more and working a lot and I start to dig a hole. At least I’m conscious about it though, and each trip I try my best!

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