I both love and hate shopping.
Grocery stores, books stores, health food stores, Target—I love shopping at these places because I can look at things that interest me and get excited about bringing them home.
Dressy-ish clothes? Not so much.
Shopping for clothes ranks only slightly above poking my eyes out with a dull butter knife in terms of enjoyable activities. Nothing fits, especially in the pants department, as I am tall with long legs and have a little waist.
(Before you short people with pert asses get all, “Oh, how horrible, she has a little waist and long legs” on me—zip it. I have no ass, no hips and no boobs—think 12-year old boy in drag.)
I know frustrating shopping experiences are partly my fault and that a solution is to either gain my 30 lbs or live in yoga pants. But until yoga pants become professionally acceptable—I deem them socially acceptable in Abbyland—I have to go clothes shopping, which is what I attempted to do this past weekend.
Five minutes in, I was ready to bail.
I don’t know if I’m just getting old, but everything looked…wrong. Clothes in the juniors department said “slutty schoolgirl” while the women’s department screamed “stodgy schoolmarm.” Considering I wasn’t really going for either of those looks (at that given time, mind you) store after store presented mounting disappointment and frustration.
This happens every time I go, so it’s nothing new.
Before I even get into the dressing room with whatever I have decided is “not horrible,” I’m already out of patience and ready to retire to Barnes & Noble or go sit and watch weirdos in the food court. Why?
- There’s the initial process of trying to find something that actually goes together. I don’t think “style” as much as I think, “Can I wear that with jeans and is it on sale?” If I do find something I like, my size is gone.
- Then you have to get undressed in a room the size of a shoebox with an overly perky associate offering to get you another size before you’re even in the one you brought in, igniting the spark of rejection you already harbored towards the clothing item.
- Add in music blasting in the background—some retail hybrid of a European disco and American Idol runners-up—and I’m good for about one costume change.
The only entertaining part is eavesdropping on the conversations of people in nearby dressing rooms or listening to the associate falsely flatter either the slutty schoolgirl or stodgy schoolmarm.
Just putting on a dress designed by Beyonce does not make you look like Beyonce—especially if you’re white and Polish.
But this time I went shopping/sulking like a toddler right after writing my Oatmeal post. The two might not seem related, but I can make it work (unlike that little number up above.)
Some people have absolutely no energy towards food, something I obviously can’t relate to at all. They will eat whatever whenever without a second thought to nutritional benefits or whether it is organically grown in a sustainable fashion. It tastes good, it’s easy, it’s done. They see oatmeal on a menu, they think healthy and move on with their day. They (gasp) hate grocery shopping.
That I can’t imagine, as workers at my local grocery stores know me by name and ask about my dog.
But some people have absolutely no energy towards fashion—at all—and by “some people,” I mean me. And it’s not just clothes. When I first moved into my house, my neighbor (think an unsuccessful drunken chain-smoking Martha Stewart) asked me what kind of theme and elements I wanted to have in my living room.
My answer? A couch and a TV.
Not quite what she was looking for, but color schemes and adding “schwag” don’t interest me. Minimal is good, especially when I’m paying for it.
But here’s where I try and bring back my initial point and tie it in with fast-food oatmeal. I don’t get style and fashion. I don’t read up on trendy looks, I have jeans from five years ago and to be honest, I just don’t care. It’s more than just finding something that fits me physically (impossible, by the way) but rather finding the energy to care about finding something that fits me.
I just don’t care. And that’s okay.
However, I do care about food (and sports, for another example) and spend a great deal of time educating myself about these things. I can’t imagine not wanting to know about these things and have genuine energy towards them.
So if I was a little harsh with the oatmeal outburst, it’s because sometimes I forget that not everyone cares about the things that I do. But food is something I care about, so I got a little defensive.
For me, things like oatmeal and greens are like the Prada of produce and grains, whereas knock-off versions and those bedazzled to excess are the cheap-ass imitations you only buy when dressing up as aforementioned slutty schoolgirl on Halloween.
The knock-off just costs less of your time and energy and we all have priorities—mine are often food-related. But I can also accept that those waiting in the fast food line for their Pixie Stick oatmeal or overdressed salads are probably smirking at my yoga pants and the faint scent of garlic wafting out of my sweatshirt.
Maybe if there was a cheap and easy fast-fashion drive-thru that could make me look “Bootylicious” and super size my style, I would be tempted. Nah. I’m still not buying it.
And that’s okay.
I’m totally with ya on the whole fashion thing. I’m NOT into the latest fashions and almost make a it a point not to follow them. Skinny jeans, UGGS, pants in the boots, brands? Nope. Like you, I just don’t care about it. I, too, have the same jeans I’ve been wearing for years and have no interest in finding another pair. It’s just not important to me to look ‘fashionable.’ I’m married and have a kid, so I’m not trying to impress anyone. I’m 5ft2 and thin and still can’t find clothes that fit me either. Most pants are either too long or too big in the waist! Like you, I’m in between jr and misses and absolutely dread shopping. Anytime I do end up buying something, I instantly get buyers remorse and it ends up going back. Almost every.single.time. I’m paranoid that it won’t fit me later for whatever reason and I will have ‘wasted’ the money. Anyway, just letting you know you certainly aren’t alone! On the other hand I could go grocery shopping for hours. Thats more my speed.
I hate regular clothes and I hate shopping for clothes too Abby. Jeans are so heavy and there are so many buttons and pockets and zippers on regular pants. Blah!
Thus, I became a yoga instructor and yoga clothes are both socially AND professionally accepted in my world. Problem = solved!
The moral of the story is, you need a new career.
I hate shopping…the loud music makes my head hurt, and I get too lazy to try on stuff. I HATE trying on stuff. and I usually have exactly what I want in my mind, so it frustrates me when I can’t find the stuff I want ExACTLY.
I have to say, Abby, wouldn’t you think it’s ironic that you are so interested in food and exercise? Isn’t that stemmed from an unhealthy obsession? I know you’re all into minimalism, but sometimes those may also be excuses to cover up an underlying fear. I’m saying because I’ve been there before…really emaciated, yet ironically grossly fascinated with food, educating myself with nutrition and etc, yet sticking to my rigid way of eating and exercising.
Nope. Not everything is related to an unhealthy obsession. I like shopping for things for my garden, Home Depot, other people, books, etc. as well. I’ve always liked sports, fitness and food and have never really been into clothes shopping–even when I was healthier and it was easier. While I like to look good, I just don’t have the patience to figure it out. Like I said, not everything is negatively related.
I used to be more into fashion, now I think I’ve gotten more “I dont care, this is comfy”.
I like new clothes, but I rarely get any because of the many reasons you listed. I usually go shopping once a year when I visit my family in london. they have this one giant store which I am in love with, I go on a little spree early in the morning (less crowds) and get what I need. Their sizes fit me better there, I dunno, I guess I’m built like a european.
The thing is, I actually like fashion, but I have no patience to shop. you would think I’d have the same attitude towards shopping for food, but I love grocery shopping. I also hate shopping online. Not sure why, but I feel like I dont think its real unless hold it.
Of course, you are the exception, Im pretty sure your real
I love fashion, but not the hugest fan of shopping (it depends on the store!). Shopping can be FRUSTRATING!!
My sentiments on clothes shopping are definitely in line with this. I ALWAYS plan ahead to reward myself with B&N at the end of a shopping trip so that I can try to ameliorate my inevitable foul mood. My mom can wander around looking and trying things on for HOURS, and I get dejected after just a few minutes.
I have to say, though, that at times shopping trips have served as huge light-bulb moments for me, when I was forced to literally and figuratively confront the ugly truth that I was too small for sizes that should have been WAY too small for me, and the result looked like hell. I can think of more than one instance where a shopping trip like that truly inspired me to try to get more of a handle on things.
Give me a book, grocery, or pet store over that any day of the week, though.
I do like shopping for clothes, but only on my terms. And “my terms” include certain stores, when I’m in the mood, when I have the money (or someone else who does), and I actually find things that fit my also tall frame. All of these things don’t always add up, so most of the time, I don’t like shopping! Haha!
But I have to add that I use to hate it all together when I was at a lower weight. It just always dissapointed me to see that I wasn’t able to fit in the right clothes that I should have been. I felt just like you. A 12 year old boy in drag. And now that I actually have a figure? Well now I’m much happier to go into a dressing room and see that my body looks good in the right size for me. Therefore I enjoy it more. So I’d say if 30 Ibs. will give you more confidence for wearing clothes, why not try to gain it? Just a thought.
Because you deserve to feel girly and beautiful just as much as those fashionistas!!
<3 Tori
I’m like Tori (except for the height thing–I’m short) regarding shopping. Shopping for clothes involves a kind of calculation in order to get me to go. If I’m in the mood though, I’ll snoop through racks of sale items for the whole day and kind of enjoy it. But to force it is just blah.
Give me a grocery store any day of the week! I am currently excited and slightly obsessed with finding grocery stores in Australia when we get there next week. Clothes shopping there didn’t even cross my mind
Oh, I totally agree with you guys too. I am good for a small amount of calculated time and of course, I am willing to find something new and nice
But after a little bit, I’m done. No interest–I enjoy looking, but trying stuff on is another story.
I’m with you on the shopping. Luckily, I only need to wear boring business casual clothes, so I do most of that shopping online. I just know what size I wear at like three stores and take care of it at home. If its not work related, I just don’t care. Which is why my uggs have holes in them and I have what I lovingly refer to as “socially acceptable black sweatpants”.
Shopping – gah. Love-hate relationship. Having to put things on really stresses me. Most things don’t fit anyway, not because I’m too thin, but because I have a very straight bone structure (no waist, no hips, totally flat), so clothes often are too wide around the hips, but too thight around the belly and shoulders, and the legs and sleeves aren’t long enough. So I’d rather just look around. It got better when I started buying at least some clothes in the men’s department. Usually, I dress for comfort, and although I really enjoy fashion, I feel uncomfortable if I wear something too eye-catching.